- Pete Hornberger: [Whispers] Somebody's coming!
- Cerie: [Lutz walks in] Oh, no, is that the new guy?
- J.D. Lutz: What? No, it's me, Lutz. I've worked here for three years.
- Cerie: [Cerie looks confused]
- J.D. Lutz: I gave you that car I won?
- Jack Donaghy: You look like you've been around.
- Simon Behrens: Yeah. I've seen a bra or two.
- Jack Donaghy: I'll bet you have.
- Jack Donaghy: I'll tell you everything you need to know, Danny: never do business with a friend, never be friends with a woman and lose the leather bracelet.
- Tracy Jordan: Hey, Jackie D, I hope the new dude isn't impossible to work with, like some people I know.
- [points to self]
- Toofer: I hope he's educated.
- Frank Rossitano: I hope he hates Toofer.
- Old Janitor: I hope he likes janitor hugs.
- Danny Baker: [Clip from Danny's high school football movie from Ottawa, Ontario] "All right, hosers. I want all 12 of us fighting for every meter on all three downs. And we're going to make this a Boxing Day the Prime Minister will never forget!"
- Liz Lemon: My book is number 14 on the nonfiction bestseller chart, right behind "The Founding Fathers' Diet."
- Tracy Jordan: He knows you're special. Like a black stripper with blue eyes. You have to test the marketplace.
- Kenneth Parcell: Miss Maroney, your Mexican diet pills came. Should I start taking them to test their side effects?
- Padma Lakshmi: Padma, I'm so happy you've taken an interest in "Dealbreakers."
- Jack Donaghy: I love doing "Top Chef." But this would give me a chance to showcase my other talents. I mean, men always tell me I'm very funny.
- Padma Lakshmi: Ah.
- Padma Lakshmi: Have you heard this one? Knock, knock.
- [Jack bursts out laughing]
- Scottie Shofar: Sorry, I've got to take this.
- [Answers phone call]
- Scottie Shofar: What's up? Nothing, just meeting with this "Dealbreakers" lady. I don't know. Regular six, drunk seven.
- Padma Lakshmi: You know, I'm very entrepreneurial. I invented this new bag that you put around a sandwich to keep it fresh. But it's clear. So you still get the full visual of the sandwich.
- Jack Donaghy: Uh, so, it's a sandwich bag.
- Padma Lakshmi: No, Jack. It's a new thing, that *I* invented.