- Frankie Heck: Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that we're working on Thanksgiving?
- [scoffs]
- Frankie Heck: Mr. Ehlert, that is just wrong.
- Mr. Ehlert: Well, so's taking the country away from a bunch of Indians, but aren't you glad we did?
- Sue Heck: Where's the good smell? Wait. Did Mom really cancel Thanksgiving?
- Mike Heck: Yeah. She's at work.
- Sue Heck: Well, who's gonna make the turkey?
- Brick Heck: Who's gonna bake the frozen pies?
- Axl Heck: Who's gonna open the can of cranberry sauce?
- Sue Heck: Can I invite Brad over to help?
- Mike Heck: It's Thanksgiving. Won't his parents miss him?
- Sue Heck: Oh, they're just so excited he has a girlfriend.
- Mike Heck: I could see that.
- Sue Heck: I wonder what our kids will look like?
- Axl Heck: Depends on what country you get'em from. Right?
- Mike Heck: Axl!
- Mike Heck: See, kids, let this be a lesson. Drinking is not cool.
- Frankie Heck: Mike, I told them I had the flu!
- Mike Heck: See, kids, lying is also not cool.