Glee (TV Series)
Theatricality (2010)
Kevin McHale: Artie Abrams
Photos
Quotes
-
Mercedes Jones : Rachel kind of got some intense news yesterday.
Quinn Fabray : We were spying on Vocal Adrenaline, and...
Will Schuester : You guys, that's not fair! You gotta stop doing that. But, uh, you know, what... what'd you find out?
Mercedes Jones : Okay, y'all ready? Miss Corcoran, their coach? She's Rachel's mom.
Will Schuester : Are you serious?
Artie Abrams : Way to bury the lead, Mercedes.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : We're screwed. Rachel's gonna jump ship over to Vocal Adrenaline.
Rachel Berry : [entering] Never. I really don't want to talk about it, though. I'm still processing the news. And my dads are moving my therapist to our spare room later this afternoon. All I know is that I'm not going anywhere, and I've chosen a Lady Gaga look the longing for a childhood I was deprived of.
Brittany S. Pierce : You look terrible. I look awesome.
Mercedes Jones : I think it's the Kermit the Frog look.
Kurt Hummel : [a stuffed animal falls off Rachel's dress] And we have a jumper.
Rachel Berry : Well, my dads can't sew, so these are just stapled on.
Will Schuester : Guys, why don't we worry about this later and maybe try to focus on the song?
-
Artie Abrams : It's so weird.
Finn Hudson : This so isn't you.
Tina Cohen-Chang : I feel like an Asian Branch Davidian.
Will Schuester : Tina, are there any other looks you can try?
Santana Lopez : Biker chick?
Finn Hudson : Cowgirl?
Mercedes Jones : Hood rat.
Quinn Fabray : Computer programmer.
Brittany S. Pierce : Cross-country skier.
Noah 'Puck' Puckerman : Catholic schoolgirl.
Brittany S. Pierce : Happy Meal, no onions. Or a chicken.
-
Rachel Berry : Guys, we have a serious problem. You know how I've been doing some deep background on Vocal Adrenaline?
Artie Abrams : Isn't that against the rules?
Rachel Berry : No, not at all. Or probably. Whatever! Anyway, what I figured out; I rooted through the dumpsters behind the Carmel auditorium and I found eighteen empty boxes of Christmas lights.
Tina Cohen-Chang : Oh, no.
Rachel Berry : Which led me to Joelle Fabrics. I asked them about red Chantilly lace, and they were sold out.
Mercedes Jones : Oh, sweet Jesus.
Kurt Hummel : Oh, my.
Will Schuester : Wait, wait, wait. What?
Kurt Hummel : They're doing Gaga.
Mercedes Jones : That's it. It's over.
Rachel Berry : Exactly.
Kurt Hummel : We should have guessed it. They're going for full-out theatricality. They know it's the easiest way to beat us. Damn them.
-
Artie Abrams : It makes sense that Vocal Adrenaline would pay homage. It's a brilliant move. She's a perfect fit for them.
Will Schuester : Hold on a second. We might be able to kill two birds with one stone here. We can help Tina find a new look and find a competitive number for regionals. This week, your assignment: Gaga.
[the students all gasp and mutter in excitement]
Rachel Berry : Pens. We need pens. My ideas just come to me.
Will Schuester : Uh, my office. Right there.
Rachel Berry : I'm brainstorming. It's coming.