- Andy Bernard: What are you gonna do with this?
- Creed Bratton: It depends on you, my friend. You can make a small contribution to the William Charles Schneider Memorial Fund. You can make this all go away or else!
- [he makes a throat slit gesture]
- Andy Bernard: You're going to kill me?
- Creed Bratton: That's probably the wrong gesture. I was trying to indicate that it will be very bad for you.
- Andy Bernard: That was the wrong gesture cause that is like... It's like I'm gonna slit your throat.
- Creed Bratton: No, I'm not gonna do that.
- Andy Bernard: If it's bad, you just be like-
- [he waves his finger]
- Andy Bernard: You know, like...
- Creed Bratton: Alright. Enough of this small talk! Okay? Are you going to pay me or not?
- Andy Bernard: I don't know, Creed. I'm like really freaked out and confused.
- Creed Bratton: Make up your mind quickly or else.
- [he waves his finger]
- Andy Bernard: [talking head] I don't know what I'm gonna do and I'm freaking out. And I haven't freaked out in a decision like this since I had to choose between Here Comes Treble, Treble In Paradise, The Trebleshooters and The Finger Lake Maestros.
- Creed Bratton: [whispering to Andy] What's it gonna be?
- Andy Bernard: Ooh, wow! You're so gratuitously creepy, Creed. You know that?
- Creed Bratton: Thank you.
- Andy Bernard: You know what it's gonna be? In about two seconds, you're not gonna have anything to lord over me. Excuse me. I have an announcement to make! And that announcement is look at this! Okay?
- [he shows off his Japanese tattoo]
- Andy Bernard: Just look!
- [talking head]
- Andy Bernard: Yes, I do have a tattoo. I got it during my semester at sea.
- Kelly Kapoor: Oh, my God! Do you have a tramp stamp?
- Andy Bernard: No, Kelly! I don't have a tramp stamp.
- [talking head]
- Andy Bernard: No, I don't have a tramp stamp. Yes, it does happen to be on my lower back. Yes, it does mean Nard Dog. No, I don't regret it. Yes, I am having it laser removed.
- Creed Bratton: This blackmail game is hard work. I'm gonna need a little nap.
- [he overhears Meredith talking on the phone]
- Meredith Palmer: Frank is finally paying me child support. No. Jake's biological father is too. Hahaha! Yeah. I bought myself a kegerator. Well, we kind of drink at home cause I can't drive anymore cause of my DUI.
- Creed Bratton: I feel great after that nap. Totally refreshed. Ready to blackmail that Indian chick.