Behind Bitch Slap: Building a Better B-Movie (2010 Video) User Reviews

Almost twice as professional as the dishonest rip-off feature

[charlytully · 7/10 · 8 June 2011]

The only person I've heard of that would rate BITCH SLAP as "7," "8," "9," or "10" UNDER HIS OWN NAME would be U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner, D-NY. Therefore, BEHIND BITCH SLAP: BUILDING A BETTER B-MOVIE is remarkable for its honesty, a virtue totally lacking in the feature itself, and especially in the marketing for the feature (including the DVD packaging). The BITCH SLAP crew's disinformation campaign has been so effective that they have the major video rental chains bamboozled into sticking black "MUST BE 18 TO RENT" stickers on the disc cases, even though BITCH SLAP has about as much actual sex and female nudity as RAMONA AND BEEZUS. With typical adolescent horn dog hubris, the smirking co-writers of BITCH SLAP use this three-part "making-of" to crow about how they decided to promise tons of nudity and deliver NONE (not even the "naked nun" is nude) because they know the Anthony Weiners of this world are too dumb to take the time to read a one-sentence official MPAA rating guideline (which in their case necessarily does NOT mention nudity, though the DVD box is designed to make BITCH SLAP seem more titillating than a GIRLS GONE WILD video). After all, when you're trying to hold down a day job while sending out hundreds of sexting messages daily to stranger females, who has time to read a sentence fragment? With a combination of complete crassness and obnoxious gall, Rick Jacobson and Eric Gruendemann provide a template for how to produce drivel reeking like rejected tripe from a third-string packing plant's defective meat grinder while comparing oneself to Quentin Tarantino (DEATH PROOF) and Christopher Nolan (MEMENTO). Only 9 minutes shorter than the feature, BEHIND BITCH SLAP is divided into three parts. I rated Part 1: Getting Started at 8 of 10, Part 2: Production Techniques at 6 of 10 (it's mostly bitching about the weather), and Part 3: Bringing it Home at 7 of 10. (If Rick and Eric had come right out and admitted they were making a movie for the crowd that drools over MAXIM magazine every month, I would have upped my rating to 9 of 10.) Needless to say, my rating of BITCH SLAP itself at 4 of 10 is surely over generous.