Rio (2011)
Jesse Eisenberg: Blu
Photos
Quotes
-
Blu : So, how far is it to this Luiz?
Rafael : Not far! Thirty minutes, as the crow flies.
Blu : I see... and how far as the macaw walks?
Jewel : Bo-Bo here can't fly.
Rafael : But, he's a bird!
Blu : Not all birds fly! There are ostriches...
Jewel : You are NOT an ostrich!
Blu : Well... not technically.
-
Blu : [as they're walking in the jungle] Oh! Oh! What was that?
Jewel : A stick.
Blu : Ah! And that?
Jewel : It's just a rock.
Blu : Oh, right. Yeah.
[Blu stops and shudders as he feels something on his back]
Blu : Is that a spider on my back?
Jewel : Will you quit it? It's just a leaf! Turn around!
[Blu turns and we see a huge spider on his back]
Jewel : Oh, um...
[Jewel quickly hits the spider off of Blu's back]
Jewel : Leaf. Told ya.
-
Rafael : [as he watches Blu getting closer to Jewel] There he goes! That's my boy!
[Blu tries to wrap his wing around Jewel but stops mid-way as Jewel looks at him]
Blu : Ooh! Is it hot? I... I think I'm... I'm sweating! I didn't even think that was biologically possible. I get... look?
[he holds up his wing]
Jewel : Oh. Wow.
Nico : [as they watch Blu make a fool of himself] Yeah! That's your boy, alright.
Rafael : Okay, so he needs a little help. Well, come on. Let's give him some. Set the mood.
Pedro : Alright, look. I'm on it. I know how to set the mood. Check it out!
[he starts dancing and rapping]
Pedro : Get it-get it-get it-get it-get it-get it girl! Get-ge-get-ge-get it girl! Take her, take her to the flow! Show her, show her how you roll! Drop it! Drop it! Drop it low! Drop it, d-drop it low!
Rafael : Woah, woah, woah! What kind of mood is that?
Nico : Pedro, Pedro, a little too aggressive. Not hatin' on your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead.
-
Blu : Maybe we could find a bus schedule or something?
-
Chloe : Well, well, if it isn't my favorite nerd bird!
Blu : Ver... very funny. Real mature!
Alice : Hey, peck! Where you migrating to this year, huh? The breakfast nook?
[Chloe and Alice laugh and throw another snowball at the window]
Blu : Throw all the snow balls you want. I'm protected by this magical forcefield, called glass! It's what keeps us so toasty and warm in here while you guys out there are freezing your...
[looks up and sees Chloe and Alice showing their behinds to him, making fun]
Blu : Classy.
-
Blu : [as Tulio is making strange bird like noises in front of him] Linda! Little help here! Linda?
Linda : Wow! You're actually communicating!
Tulio : Yes! Yes! I introduced myself and shook my tail feathers counter clockwise, thus referring to his dominance.
Blu : [to himself] I did not get that at all.
-
Jewel : [Blu tries to speak as Jewel is standing on him with one clawed foot holding his throat] Que?
Blu : You're standing on my throat!
[she gets off him]
Jewel : Oh, you're an American!
[Blu clears his throat]
Blu : Thanks. I need my throat for talking. So, thank you.
Jewel : You look like me!
Blu : Oh, hi. Hi. My name is Blu. You know, like the cheese with the mold on it, that smells really bad.
[to himself as he realizes what he's just said]
Blu : That's stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
-
Rafael : Okay, I need you two to get closer.
[Blu and Jewel move an inch closer together]
Rafael : Closer!
[they move another inch closer]
Rafael : Closer!
[they move closer, standing side by side]
Rafael : Nice! Now put your wings around each other.
Blu : What?
Rafael : Come on, amigo! It's not like she's gonna bite! Will you?
Jewel : We'll see.
-
Blu : Rafael, quit following me. You're going in the wrong direction. Isn't carnival that way?
Rafael : I'm not going to carnival. No, I'm going home.
Blu : But I thought you loved carnival.
Rafael : I do. But I love my family much more. And that's a choice I made with this.
[points to Blu's heart]
Rafael : Not with this.
[points to Blu's head]
-
Blu : Yeah. Sounds great. It's not like were just throwing ourselves off of a mountain... right?
Rafael : Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.
Blu : What?
Rafael : Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?
Man on glider : No, wait!
[screams]
Man on glider : Mommy!
Rafael : Fun, right?
Blu : Yeah... fun.
-
Blu : What is natural about getting thrown halfway across the room?
-
Blu : Natural instincts. There's nothing natural about being thrown halfway across a room. Well, I'll show him.
[reading a book about flying]
Blu : I can do this. I just have to work out the physics. I have quadrated my vector angles. I have adjusted for wind shear. Positive reinforcement. Good. Okay. Let's see. Flaps open.
[opens his wings]
Blu : Perfect. Landing gear.
[wiggles his claws]
Blu : Check. Tail flaps.
[flaps his tail]
Blu : Operational. And actually... not bad.
[as he prepares to fly for the first time]
Blu : This is it! Let's fly! Just keep it simple. Thrust, lift, drag and weight. Thrust, lift, drag, weight.
[speeds up to get off the table]
Blu : Thrust, lift, drag, weight. Thrust, lift, drag, wei... wai... wait!
[gets scared and tries to stop himself, but instead falls from the table]
-
Jewel : Incredible! You would rather be with a... a... a human than with your own kind!
Blu : Well, that human has given me love and affection for the past fifteen years, whereas my own kind tries to strangle me after fifteen seconds.
Jewel : Yeah, well, because of them, I've lost everything. You can't trust them!
Blu : Of course you can trust humans!
[he hears Jewel make a noise]
Blu : Jewel? Jewel?
[he sees a man hover over him]
Blu : Oh! Hi there.
[the man puts a bag over Blu's head]
-
Blu : [Blu chants to himself with fear whilst trapped in a cage] Okay. Okay. There's no place like home, there's no place like home! Oh, how I wish I was back in my own cage, with my mirror and my swing and my little bell! Oh, how I miss my bell.
Jewel : Shh! Play dead.
[she drops to the floor of the cage]
Blu : I don't need to play dead, I'm about to have a heart attack!
Jewel : Just do it!
Blu : Oh, fine!
[he fakes a fall and starts twitching]
Jewel : Stop twitching!
Blu : Come on! It's the twitching that sells it.
-
Nigel : [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.
[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]
Nigel : A star! Lights. Camera. Action!
[he starts singing]
Nigel : I was striking, suave, ambitious. Feet to beak. So bodylicious. Now I am wild. I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show. Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I'm so evil why I do what I do!
[a chorus of birds starts singing]
Chorus of birds : He was a super star!
Nigel : So young and vital.
Chorus of birds : He's ghastly!
Nigel : A South American Idol!
Chorus of birds : He's a suspicious bird!
Nigel : Who said that about me?
Chorus of birds : A very vicious bird.
Nigel : I'll have you rotisseried! I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!
[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]
Nigel : I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.
[we see a seagull nearby]
Nigel : It was him.
Chorus of birds : He's a nasty bird!
Nigel : I'm invincible. I'm unmincable. I'm unwashable. Unrinsable. Like an abandoned school, I have no principle. Full of Brazilian birds. All eighty million birds. I tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you.
[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]
Nigel : Shut up now. Shut up!
[the chorus of birds stop singing]
Nigel : It's just me.
[to Blu and Jewel]
Nigel : I will make you ugly too! Sweet nightmares.
[laughs wickedly and flies away]
Blu : Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!
-
Rafael : [as he notices Blu and Jewel starting to argue] Okay! Okay! You know what? This is good. Just clear the air. Just be completely honest with each other.
Blu : You want honesty? Fine. Fine, I can be honest. I don't belong here. In fact, I never wanted to come here in the first place. And... and... and you know what? I hate Samba!
Pedro : [Rafael, Nico and Pedro gasp with shock and Nico bursts into tears] Hey! That's a little too far!
Nico : [to Pedro] Make the mean bird take it back!
Blu : Yeah! I said it! Every song sounds exactly the same.
[he mimics the samba music and dance]
Blu : Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Tico-taco, ya-ya-ya! Urrgh! I'm tico-taco outta here.
Jewel : Fine! See you around, pet!
[Jewel flies away and Blu walks away]
Rafael : No, no, ,no! Wait, wait, wait! Come back! You belong together! You are Juliet to his Romeo! Sure they both die in the end, but you get my point!
[Nico and Pedro towards Rafael]
Rafael : Ah, young love! Always so melodramatic. All right, boys. Go after her.
-
Blu : So, uh... how far is this Luiz?
Rafael : Not far. Thirty minutes as the crow flies.
Blu : Uh... and how long as the macaw walks?
Jewel : Bobo here can't fly.
Rafael : But... but he's a bird!
Blu : Not all birds fly. There are ostriches.
Jewel : You are not an ostrich!
Blu : Well, not technically, but...
Rafael : Wait, wait, wait! My friends, I wanna help, but to walk the whole way, it... it... it can't be done!
[he suddenly notices his kids clambering around his wife asking after him]
Rafael : But hey, we might as well give it a shot. Let's go, quickly.
[he turns Blu and Jewel around and walks away quietly; Jewel turns to look at the kids]
-
Blu : [Nico and Pedro approach Blu] I... am... not... from... here.
Pedro : Hey, Nico, he's a tourist!
Nico : Funny, you don't look like one.
Blu : Really? I... I don't?
Pedro : Except you got pigeon doodle on your nose.
[Blu wipes the sun cream from his beak]
Blu : Oh no no, this is just SPF three thousand.
-
Linda : [in the bird sanctuary] So, where's Jewel?
Tulio : Oh, we have a special place for Jewel. She's a very spirited bird.
Aviary Intern : Aahh! I'll say.
[he turns and his face is covered in scratches and bruises]
Blu : She did that? Ah, charming! Okay, I wanna go home now!
Tulio : [as he hears Blu squawk with fear] No, no! Don't worry. I'm gonna make you look irresistible.
-
Jewel : Are you ready?
Blu : For what?
[he suddenly thinks she's referring to them mating]
Blu : Oh! Oh! Wow! Uuh! Okay.
[to himself]
Blu : Confidence. Crazy love hawk!
[he goes towards her]
Jewel : Alright.
[Blu tries to kiss Jewel]
Jewel : Woah! Hey!
[she pushes him away]
Jewel : What are you doing?
Blu : What? What? What you wanted me to! But just for argument's sake, uh... what are... what are you doing?
Jewel : I'm trying to escape!
[she points to the air conditioning vent]
Blu : Oh, yeah, escape. Tha... that's where I was going with that thing I just did...
Jewel : Wait! Wai-wai-wai-wait! Did you actually think we were gonna kiss?
Blu : No no no no!
Jewel : We just met!
-
Blu : I mean, I know how my feathers look, but I'm not that kind of bird.
[just then a disco ball comes down, the lights are dimmed and Lionel Richie's 'Say you, Say me' starts playing]
Blu : Okay, I had nothing to do with that. But, that's actually a pretty good song.
[Jewel gives him a look as he starts singing to the music]
Blu : Naturally... Yeah, sing it, Lionel.
[Jewel suddenly jumps onto him]
-
Blu : Excuse me! Please! I am trying to sleep!
Jewel : [sarcastically] Oh, I'm sorry, sleepy head. I'm trying to escape!
Blu : Escape! Why? This cage is awesome.
Jewel : The cage! Oh, what was I thinking? I wouldn't expect a *pet* to understand.
Blu : Pet? Did you just call me a pet? For the record, I am not a pet! I am a companion. And you know what? Do whatever you want! Cause tomorrow morning, Linda will come for me and this whole nightmare will be over.
-
Blu : [trapped in their cage in a room full of the other trapped animals] Okay. Pull it together. The key is not to panic.
Jewel : I'm not panicking!
Blu : I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to me. But it's okay, because any minute now, Linda will find us.
Jewel : Oh, great! And then she'll stick us behind another set of bars, right?
Blu : Yeah! I... I mean, no!
Jewel : Look, pet cages might work for you, but I don't want to belong to anyone.
-
Blu : Hey, are you okay?
Jewel : No, I am definitely not okay!
[she starts throwing herself at the cage bars]
Blu : Woah, woah, woah! Wait, wait! What are you doing?
Jewel : Getting out of here! Are you going to help me or what?
Blu : A-Actually all the survival guides say to sit and wait. And... and help will come.
Jewel : No one is coming!
[she throws herself more violently at the cage]
Blu : Woah!
Jewel : We're on our own and if we just sit here, we're going to die!
-
Jewel : [Jewel flies out of the cage and grabs hold of Blu, but Blu grabs the cage with his beak] What are you doing?
Blu : I can't...
Jewel : What? You can't what?
[Marcel's men open the door to catch them in the act of escaping and Blu lets go of the cage]
Blu : Fly! I can't fly!
[they both fall onto a washline and start sliding across it]
Jewel : You couldn't have told me this before now?
Blu : It didn't matter before now!
[they crash into a wall]
Jewel : I hate you!
-
Jewel : [as they are running away from Marcel's men] Aw, this is great! I'm chained to the only bird in the world who can't fly!
Blu : Actually, there are about forty species of flightless birds.
Jewel : Duck!
Blu : No, ducks can fly.
Jewel : No! Duck!
[referring to them ducking under a cart they're about to encounter]
-
Jewel : Now, uh... just come on! We need to find a safe place to spend the night.
Blu : Safe? Safe? We are in the jungle! You know when people say 'it's a jungle out there', well I'm pretty sure they don't mean it as a good thing.
Jewel : Look, I hate to break it to you, but this is where our kind naturally lives.
Blu : Hey, hey! Don't talk to me about nature. I watch Animal Planet. I know all about the food chain.
[just then a bug flying by gets eaten by a frog sticking his tongue out to grab it]
Blu : Ah! You see? You see, out here, I'm just an hors d'oeuvre! Nothing more than a feathery spring roll.
Jewel : That is why we stay in the trees and not on the ground.
-
Blu : [as Blu reaches the top of the tree house] You see? Who needs flying?
Jewel : Birds. Birds need flying. Flying is... it's freedom and... and not having to rely on anyone. Don't you want that?
Blu : Mmm, I don't know. Sounds a little lonely.
Jewel : Get some sleep.
Blu : Uh, I-I-I'm probably gonna be up for a little while. Well, cause I'm... I'm still on Minnesota time.
Jewel : Goodnight.
Blu : Good night, Jewel.
[looks out into the sky]
Blu : Good night, Linda.
-
Jewel : [as they are pulling up a huge rock on a rope] Are you sure this is gonna work?
Blu : Positive. Check out my map.
[pointing to the map he's drawn on the ground]
Jewel : Yeah, that's... that's comforting, thank you. Look, let's just get this chain broken.
Blu : Right. Then we can go and find Linda.
Jewel : No, you can go find Linda. Once this chain is off, I'm gonna go back to being free in the jungle. Deal?
Blu : Fine. Deal.
[he puts one of his wings up accidentally, pulling the lever holding the rock off its hook]
-
Rafael : So, you two lovebirds headed for carnival?
Jewel : Wow! Love birds?
Blu : We're more like acquaintance birds.
Jewel : And not even that! We're more like chained-to-each-other birds.
Blu : Yeah. I... I mean... aaah!
[one of Rafael kids pulls his feather]
Blu : What is it with this kid and feathers?
Rafael : We have no idea. We're having him tested.
-
Jewel : You're sure you're up for this?
Blu : Yeah. Yeah, I mean, well it's not like we're just hurling ourselves off a mountain or something, right?
Rafael : Actually, that was pretty much my entire plan.
Blu : What?
Rafael : No. Don't worry, Blu. It's in your DNA. And if our featherless friends can do it, how hard can it be?
[just then a human tourist hand gliding off the cliff shouts out for help]
Man on glider : Mommy!
Blu : Fun, right?
Blu : Yeah. Fun.
-
Rafael : [to Blu and Jewel who are standing side by side] Now, you flap your right wing, you flap your left wing, and together, you fly!
Blu : Uh... but this doesn't seem aerodynamically possible!
Rafael : Ey-ya-ya-ya-ya! You think too much! Fly! It's not what you think up here.
[points to Blu's head]
Rafael : It's what you feel in here.
[points to Blu's heart]
Rafael : And when you feel the rhythm of your heart, it's like Samba! You fly!
-
Rafael : [as Rafael is demonstrating flying to Blu] See, it's easy!
Blu : Easy? Easy for you to say. 'Cause from... from here it looks really, really hard!
Jewel : Hey, if you want to see Linda again, this is the only way.
Blu : Okay, you're right.
Jewel : Yes, I am.
Blu : This is for Linda.
Jewel : Right!
Blu : Keep it simple.
Jewel : Easy-breezy.
Blu : Thrust, lift, drag.
Jewel : Oh, come on! Let's go!
[she drags him along]
Blu : Wait!
-
Nico : Hey, Ralfie! If it isn't the king of carnival!
Rafael : Nico! Pedro! What up, family?
Pedro : Where you been hidin' yourself, bird?
Nico : Man, I thought you were dead!
Pedro : Hold up! Rewind!
[going towards Blu]
Pedro : Ain't that the bird from the cage?
Nico : I think our love lessons went down smooth.
Pedro : You work fast!
Nico : Baby got big!
Pedro : You was locked up and now you're rollin' up with a hot wing! Woo! I wanna be like you!
Blu : Oh, no, no! It's not what you think. We're just uh... chained together.
Nico : Hey, I'm not judging you.
-
Blu : [as they've gotten away from the monkeys] Man, we threw down!
Jewel : Yeah, we threw down!
Rafael : You guys were like fire and ice!
Nico : Thunder and lightnin'!
Pedro : Hip 'n' hop!
Blu : Cheese and sprinkles!
[they all stop laughing and give Blu a strange look]
Blu : It's a Minnesota thing.
[they all laugh]
Rafael : You see? Nothing you say makes any sense!
-
Rafael : Pssst! Blu, down here. Just tell her, "You have beautiful eyes".
Blu : That's good. Great idea!
[he turns to Jewel]
Blu : I have beautiful eyes.
Jewel : Aah... yeah. Okay, Sure. They're... they're nice.
Rafael : [flying low, whispers to Blu] No! Her eyes! Her eyes!
Blu : Oh, right! Yeah!
[turns to Jewel]
Blu : Your eyes. Your eyes are great. Not mine. I mean, you know, mine are okay. But yours, I-I bet you can see right through them.
-
Rafael : [whispering to Blu] Blu, just tell her how you feel.
Blu : [turns to Jewel] Jewel?
Jewel : Yeah?
Blu : I've been wanting to tell you, that I... that I...
[suddenly chokes on a floating flower petal]
Jewel : Oh, how sweet. You're getting choked up.
[turns to look at Blu and realizes he's really choking]
Jewel : Oh! Oh! You're choking! Uh, okay! All right!
[she starts giving him the heimlich maneuver]
-
Jewel : [as she's happily flying, Jewel notices Blu walking away sadly] Hey, where you going?
[Blu ignores her and keeps on walking]
Jewel : Blu? Blu, what's wrong?
Blu : Nothing. Everything's perfect. You'll be off to the rain forest. I'll be back with Linda. Just like we planned.
Jewel : I...
[Nico and Pedro fly down towards them]
Nico : Hey, birds! Stop yappin' and start flappin'! Let's go!
Jewel : I... I... I guess I thought maybe...
Blu : What? That you... you'd come to Minnesota?
[Jewel just looks at him]
Blu : Great! I guess I... I'll knit you a scarf.
Jewel : No, that's not what I meant.
Blu : Look, Jewel, I can't spend my life walking around following you wherever you're going.
Jewel : Hey, it's not my fault you can't fly.
Pedro : [to Nico as they watch Blu and Jewel] Awkward!
-
Blu : [in the smugglers' float] Hey, Jewel?
Jewel : Blu!
Blu : I'm gonna get you outta here.
Jewel : No, no! You can't be here! You have to go! Nigel is...
[suddenly Nigel attacks Blu and throws Blu in a cage]
Nigel : Hello, pretty bird. So kind of you to join our little soiree.
Blu : Oh, come on! You really think I came alone? I got three of the roughest, meanest, craziest birds in all of Rio right behind me.
Pedro : Woohoo! You know there guys!
[Blu sees that Nigel has placed Nico, Pedro and Rafael in a cage nearby]
Pedro : We're saved! That's right! That's right! That's right!
Rafael : Uh... I think he means us.
Pedro : Oh.
Nigel : Ah, love! It's such a powerful and stupid thing.
-
Jewel : [after Blu has released all the other caged birds, Nigel attacks Blu] Let him go!
[Nigel hits Jewel away she falls against the wall of the plane and a cage falls on her wing]
Jewel : Ow!
Blu : Jewel!
Jewel : My wing!
Nigel : Oh, pity! Now we have two useless, flightless birds.
[Blu grabs hold of the hose on the fire extinguisher and attaches it to Nigel's leg]
Blu : Not cool, man! Not cool!
[Blu releases the pressure on the fire extinguisher and Nigel bursts out of the plane]
-
Nigel : [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.
[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]
Nigel : A star! Lights. Camera. Action!
[he starts singing]
Nigel : I was striking, suave, ambitious feet to beak, so birdy-licious. Now I am vile, I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show, Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I am so evil why I do what I do!
[a chorus of birds starts singing]
Chorus of birds : He was a super star!
Nigel : So young and vital.
Chorus of birds : He's nasty!
Nigel : A South American Idol!
Chorus of birds : He's a suspicious bird!
Nigel : Who said that about me?
Chorus of birds : A very vicious bird.
Nigel : I'll have you rotisseried! I was the king of telenovelas The envy of all the other fellows. Then I was pushed out for a Pretty Polly parakeet from Paraguay they called Patricious. Common Paraguayan name.
Chorus of birds : He's a nasty bird!
Nigel : I'm insidious.
Chorus of birds : He's nasty.
Nigel : Oh, I'm hideous!
Chorus of birds : He was a real macaw.
Nigel : I'm a cockatoo!
Chorus of birds : An obscene bird!
Nigel : Yes, that word's true. I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!
[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]
Nigel : I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.
[we see a seagull nearby]
Nigel : It was him.
Chorus of birds : He's a nasty bird!
Nigel : I'm invincible.
Chorus of birds : He's nasty!
Nigel : I'm unminceable. I'm unwashable, Unrinsable. Like an abandoned school I have no principal! All of you Brazilian birds, all 18 million birds, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you...
[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]
Nigel : Shut up now, shut up!
[the chorus of birds stop singing]
Nigel : It's just me. I will make you ugly too. Did you hear how dramatic that was, with the end?
[laughs wickedly and flies away]
Blu : Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!
-
Nico : So, are you here for carnival?
Blu : Oh, actually, I'm just here to meet uh... a girl.
Nico : Aahhh, a girl.
Blu : Yes.
Nico : Little word of advice. You make the first move. Brazilian ladies respond to confidence.
Blu : Oh, right.
Pedro : Yeah! It's all about swagger. You gotta puff out that chest, swing that tail, eyes narrow, like some kind of crazy love hawk!
[he squawks like a hawk]
Nico : But first, we gotta bust you out!
Blu : What?
Pedro : Yeah! I'mma pop that cage open like a soda can!
Blu : No!
[Pedro tries desperately to break the metal bar on the cage Blu's in]
Blu : No, no, that's okay.
[Pedro, exhausted, stops pounding the metal bar]
Nico : You call that poppin'?
Pedro : Wooh! This thing's robust!
Blu : No, no, no, guys, really. I'm fine. The cage is great. Love the cage.
Nico : Oh, well. Suit yourself.
Pedro : Hey, don't forget. Love hawk!
[he squawks and flies away with Nico]
-
Nigel : [jumping onto the cage Blu and Jewel are being held in] Oh, I know I'm not a pretty birdy. But I used to be quite a looker.
[shows them a poster with himself looking dashing on it]
Nigel : A star! Lights. Camera. Action!
[he starts singing]
Nigel : I was striking, suave, ambitious feet to beak, so birdy-licious. Now I am vile, I am villainous and vicious. Oh! And malicious. I had it all. A TV show, Women too! I was tall, over one foot two! And then they got a pretty parakeet to fill my shoes. That's why I am so evil why I do what I do!
[a chorus of birds starts singing]
Chorus of birds : He was a super star!
Nigel : So young and vital.
Chorus of birds : He's nasty!
Nigel : A South American Idol!
Chorus of birds : He's a suspicious bird!
Nigel : Who said that about me?
Chorus of birds : A very vicious bird.
Nigel : I'll have you rotisseried! I was the king of telenovelas The envy of all the other fellows. Then I was pushed out for a Pretty Polly parakeet from Paraguay they called Patricious. Common Paraguayan name.
Chorus of birds : He's a nasty bird!
Nigel : I'm insidious.
Chorus of birds : He's nasty.
Nigel : Oh, I'm hideous!
Chorus of birds : He was a real macaw.
Nigel : I'm a cockatoo!
Chorus of birds : An obscene bird!
Nigel : Yes, that word's true. I'm a feathery freak, with a beak. A bird murder! You think you're badder than me. I never head of ya. I'm evil. I'll fill your cheese balls with weevils!
[continues his singing to Blu and Jewel]
Nigel : I poop on people and I blame it on seagulls.
[we see a seagull nearby]
Nigel : It was him.
Chorus of birds : He's a nasty bird!
Nigel : I'm invincible.
Chorus of birds : He's nasty!
Nigel : I'm unminceable. I'm unwashable, unrinsable. Like an abandoned school I have no principal! All of you Brazilian birds, all 18 million birds, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you...
[to the chorus of birds who continue singing]
Nigel : Shut up now, shut up!
[the chorus of birds stop singing]
Nigel : It's just me. I will make you ugly too. Sweet nightmares!
[laughs wickedly and flies away]
Blu : Not cool, man! Scary, but not cool!