- Ching Chang (Kung Fu Master): A great Kung Fu Master, almost never let's someone bag on his Momma.
- Seesaw: Listen, I am somebody, even if this haircut does not look like it, you are going to be my master!
- Ching Chang (Kung Fu Master): I am a great karate Master. Do not ever forget that. There are things that I know that you will never begin to understand. Like these shoes for instance. They look like regular karate shoes, but actually I had a cousin, who had a friend, who had a neighbor, who worked at the factory and hooked me up with a pair of jelly shoe inserts, that's why I move so smooth, see?
- Karate Student 1: Yes Master, how cunning of you!
- Karate Student 2: Oh I have a pair of those.
- Karate Student 3: We all do.
- Karate Student 4: Don't tell master!
- Dingaling "Dorothy" Cheng: I'm like Bruce Lee, times 3.
- Ching Chang (Kung Fu Master): I am, what I like to call Mister Miagi 5.0. You ever heard of sand on sand off? Wax on, wax off? Catch flies with chop sticks? Child's play! In this game we drink until someone wakes up being pumped with potassium!
- Angry Captain Brush Snake Lee: Damn fool, you all up in my hole and shit!