- Mary Cooper: Missy, don't forget that you have to pick out a present for that birthday next week.
- Missy Cooper: Mom, it's Melissa now.
- Mary Cooper: [under her breath, to Brenda] Middle School!
- Billy Sparks: Who's Melissa?
- Missy Cooper: Me.
- Billy Sparks: Then who's Missy?
- Missy Cooper: Missy is short for Melissa, like how Billy is short for William.
- Billy Sparks: I don't understand.
- Missy Cooper: You know how your real name is William?
- Billy Sparks: I'm Billy.
- Sheldon Cooper: No, we call you Billy, but your real name is William.
- Billy Sparks: But my underpants say 'Billy' in them. Mom, is my name William?
- Brenda Sparks: [reluctantly, in a whisper] Yeah.
- Billy Sparks: [somewhat panicked] Then whose underpants am I wearing?
- Sheldon Cooper: Which bow tie says 'mature enough to be in college, but whimsical enough to discuss which came first, the Higgs field or the photon'?
- Missy Cooper: They both say 'weird kid who eats alone'.
- Sheldon Cooper: Come on! I know *you're* concerned about what you'll wear to middle school.
- Missy Cooper: Show me again?
- [Sheldon holds up the bowties]
- Missy Cooper: The blue one. The plaid's too busy.
- Sheldon Cooper: Thanks.
- Missy Cooper: Or don't be the kid in a bow tie.
- Sheldon Cooper: This is not the day to go crazy.