- Darkwing Duck: I am the terror that flaps in...
- [collides into Weasel's car]
- Darkwing Duck: ... your windshield.
- Weasel: [impressed with his loot] Not bad, but for phase three, I'll need a ton of genuine quackerware.
- Darkwing Duck: [off-screen] What you'll need is a ton of good lawyers with no morals.
- Weasel: [gasps] Darkwing Duck!
- Darkwing Duck: [holding out his gas gun] Correct! I should blast you right now for larceny, kidnapping, and doing a bad Herb Muddlefoot imitation.
- Weasel: I thought I was pretty good.
- Darkwing Duck: Sorry we'll never get to do a side-by-side comparison. The real Herb is safely...
- Herb Muddlefoot: [following Weasel's minions into the hideout] Oh, come on, guys! Quackerware doesn't need a criminal record.
- [Weasel grabs Herb and uses a minion to threaten his life]
- Darkwing Duck: ...in your grasp.
- [opening lines]
- Drake Mallard: We're so lucky, Launchpad. As world-class crime fighters,
- [They emerge from the garage with some garbage]
- Drake Mallard: we can escape from the drudgery of the domesticated dwellers that surround us.
- Launchpad McQuack: Well then, how come we have to take out the trash?
- [They set the bags down on the curb]
- Drake Mallard: A small price to pay for the perfect cover. No one can bother us.
- [Herb's door is slammed shut]
- Drake Mallard: [annoyed] Except Herb Muddlefoot. Quick! In here!
- [Drake grabs Launchpad and dives into a hedge between the houses]
- Drake Mallard: Herb's in his quackerware selling mode. And I can't stand the way he says...
- Herb Muddlefoot: [hugs Drake] Hey, neighbor!
- Drake Mallard: [sarcastically] Oh, the joys of adjoining yards.
- J. Gander Hooter: Agent Grizzlikof...
- Darkwing Duck: Is totally incompetent. I agree. It take someone willing to break the rules to solve the toughest cases. He's a buffoon. Why, he's...
- [Darkwing turns and bumps right into Grizzlikof, whose head turns red and starts steaming]
- Darkwing Duck: I thought I smelled something burning.
- Darkwing Duck: There's got to be another way to protect Herb.
- [dissolve to Drake standing outside Herb's house]
- Herb Muddlefoot: Really, Drake? You wanna learn about quackerware?
- Drake Mallard: [nervously] Incredible as it seems, yes. I-I could use the extra cash. And, uh, this quackerware thing seems pretty profitable.
- [smile uneasily]
- Drake Mallard: [teasing Grizzlikof] Hey! You! Over here, lard hips. I bet you can't jump this fence!
- Vladimir Goudenov Grizzlikof: I show you who can do what, Mr. Herb's cohort!
- [Drake blows a raspberry and opens a manhole, which Grizzlikof falls into]
- Drake Mallard: Ace in the hole.
- [Grizzlikof lands on some water, which splashes in Drake's face]
- Darkwing Duck: Weasel's headed for the Quackerware plant.
- Herb Muddlefoot: I can help ya. I know that factory like the back of my hand.
- Darkwing Duck: Then, Mr. Muddlefoot, let's get dangerous!