Darkwing Duck (TV Series)

The Merchant of Menace (1991)

Jim Cummings: Darkwing Duck, Drake Mallard, Herb Muddlefoot

Quotes 

• Darkwing Duck : I am the terror that flaps in...

  [collides into Weasel's car] 

  Darkwing Duck : ... your windshield.

• Weasel : [impressed with his loot]  Not bad, but for phase three, I'll need a ton of genuine quackerware.

  Darkwing Duck : [off-screen]  What you'll need is a ton of good lawyers with no morals.

  Weasel : [gasps]  Darkwing Duck!

  Darkwing Duck : [holding out his gas gun]  Correct! I should blast you right now for larceny, kidnapping, and doing a bad Herb Muddlefoot imitation.

  Weasel : I thought I was pretty good.

  Darkwing Duck : Sorry we'll never get to do a side-by-side comparison. The real Herb is safely...

  Herb Muddlefoot : [following Weasel's minions into the hideout]  Oh, come on, guys! Quackerware doesn't need a criminal record.

  [Weasel grabs Herb and uses a minion to threaten his life] 

  Darkwing Duck : ...in your grasp.

• Darkwing Duck : [attacked by Weasel's minions]  YOW! PIRHANA PLASTICS!

• [opening lines] 

  Drake Mallard : We're so lucky, Launchpad. As world-class crime fighters,

  [They emerge from the garage with some garbage] 

  Drake Mallard : we can escape from the drudgery of the domesticated dwellers that surround us.

  Launchpad McQuack : Well then, how come we have to take out the trash?

  [They set the bags down on the curb] 

  Drake Mallard : A small price to pay for the perfect cover. No one can bother us.

  [Herb's door is slammed shut] 

  Drake Mallard : [annoyed]  Except Herb Muddlefoot. Quick! In here!

  [Drake grabs Launchpad and dives into a hedge between the houses] 

  Drake Mallard : Herb's in his quackerware selling mode. And I can't stand the way he says...

  Herb Muddlefoot : [hugs Drake]  Hey, neighbor!

  Drake Mallard : [sarcastically]  Oh, the joys of adjoining yards.

• J. Gander Hooter : Agent Grizzlikof...

  Darkwing Duck : Is totally incompetent. I agree. It take someone willing to break the rules to solve the toughest cases. He's a buffoon. Why, he's...

  [Darkwing turns and bumps right into Grizzlikof, whose head turns red and starts steaming] 

  Darkwing Duck : I thought I smelled something burning.

• Darkwing Duck : There's got to be another way to protect Herb.

  [dissolve to Drake standing outside Herb's house] 

  Herb Muddlefoot : Really, Drake? You wanna learn about quackerware?

  Drake Mallard : [nervously]  Incredible as it seems, yes. I-I could use the extra cash. And, uh, this quackerware thing seems pretty profitable.

  [smile uneasily] 

• Drake Mallard : [teasing Grizzlikof]  Hey! You! Over here, lard hips. I bet you can't jump this fence!

  Vladimir Goudenov Grizzlikof : I show you who can do what, Mr. Herb's cohort!

  [Drake blows a raspberry and opens a manhole, which Grizzlikof falls into] 

  Drake Mallard : Ace in the hole.

  [Grizzlikof lands on some water, which splashes in Drake's face] 

• Darkwing Duck : Weasel's headed for the Quackerware plant.

  Herb Muddlefoot : I can help ya. I know that factory like the back of my hand.

  Darkwing Duck : Then, Mr. Muddlefoot, let's get dangerous!