- Officer Greg: [to himself] What the fuck happened to you, Greg? You cry when it rains. You cry when it doesn't rain. You cry when you're dreaming. You cry when you're awake.
- [rustling bushes]
- Officer Greg: Shit...
- Officer Greg: Every few years, some limp dick turbo virgin loser watches one episode of Unsolved Mysteries and tries to take credit.
- Officer Greg: You don't actually believe this delusional tinfoil condom conspiracy shit, do you, Sheriff?
- Officer Greg: Star Captain Greg's log. Chapter 264. It's me again. Today I got a compliment. God, that felt good. Really just makes it all feel worth it. Worth, what an interesting concept. What's worth anything in this corporeal dimension we're forced to inhabit. Just some arbitrary value some higher power assigns to materialistic possessions. God, what the fuck happened to you, Greg? You cry when it rains. You cry when it doesn't rain. You cry when you're dreaming. You cry when you're awake.