Family Guy (TV Series)

Peter's Progress (2009)

Seth MacFarlane: Peter Griffin, Glenn Quagmire, Strawberry Peter, Jack the Ripper, Griffin Peterson, King Stewart III, Jester Brian, Carter Redbush, Colonial Tom Tucker, An Onlooker, A Professional Man

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peter Griffin : We will have equal rights for all. Except Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Jews, Gays, women, Muslims. Uhmm... Everybody who's not a white man. And I mean white-white, so no Italians, no Polish, just people from Ireland, England, and Scotland. But only certain parts of Scotland and Ireland. Just full blooded whites. No, you know what? Not even whites. Nobody gets any rights. Ahhh... America!

• Strawberry Peter : Ah... it's another pleasant day for me, Peter the Strawberry. Hey, Mr. Worm. I welcome you arrival 'cause we're all part of the same garden. Wait... whadda ya... uh... uh... hey... hey... hey, get outta here! Hey, hey! Aaah! Aaaaahhh! Aaaahhhh! Aaaahhhh! Aaaaahhh!

  [crying in shower] 

  Strawberry Peter : He was my neighbour, and he violated me. Now I'll never end up in a fancy pie.

• Peter Griffin : I'm young, I'm all dressed up, I'm on my way to marry the woman I love, and there's 290 years separating me from the films of Kevin Smith.

• Madame Claude : [narrating]  And so Lady Redbush sailed off to the New World to find her beloved. And the timing was good because his new wife was a pain in him ass.

  Meg Peterson : ...And then I finished scrubbing the kettle, but then I saw that I'd missed a spot and, oh, I was so worried that the whole thing wasn't clean enough, so I went back and started washing it again and sure enough, I'd missed another spot. And there was a clump of cornmeal under the rim from when I made breakfast...

  Griffin Peterson : Shut up, Meg! I prithee, shut up!

  [Lady Redbush enters the house] 

  Lady Redbush : Griffin!

  Griffin Peterson : Lady Redbush!

  [they embrace] 

  Madame Claude : And so, Griffin Peterson and Lady Redbush were happily reunited. Of course, Griffin had to go through the complex, expensive divorce procedure required by 18th century society.

  [in a case of something being easier done than said, Griffin shoots Meg with a blunderbuss] 

• Stewie Griffin : That piece of ass is marrying that tall glass of poop juice?