- Samuel Kim: Happy Birthday, by the way, old man.
- Jake Gibson: Thank you. Thank you. Oh, hey, instead of getting me a present this year, I would really love a normal roommate.
- Samuel Kim: Yeah, that'll happen when you stop taking a leak with the seat down.
- Samuel Kim: The money one has gives you freedom, the money one pursues enslaves you - Jean Jacques Rousseau.
- Wesley Henderson: Well, thanks a lot, ladies and gentlemen. That's it for me tonight. Drive fast, take chances, don't do anything I wouldn't do, and if you do, do it twice and name it after me.