The Happytime Murders (2018)

Leslie David Baker: Lt. Banning

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lt. Banning : Is Phil in?

  Bubbles : He's servicing a client.

  [noises of Phil and Sandra having sex are heard] 

• Agent Campbell : Word on the street is that you did okay.

  Lt. Banning : Okay? Phil Philips is a goddamn hero.

  Phil Philips : Oh, no, no, no, Edwards is the hero. I just got a lucky shot off.

  Connie Edwards : Come on.

  Agent Campbell : No hard feelings?

  Phil Philips : Well, no, I still think you're an asshole.

  Connie Edwards : Asshole says what?

  Agent Campbell : What?

  Connie Edwards : [laughing with Phil]  I said, "Asshole says what?". And you said...

  Phil Philips : And you said, "What?".

  Connie Edwards : 'Cause you're an asshole.

  Phil Philips : Yeah.

  Agent Campbell : What?

  Connie Edwards : [laughing again]  Every time.

  Phil Philips : Yeah.

  Connie Edwards : Always works on assholes.

• Phil Philips : You can't actually like me for these murders.

  Agent Campbell : We like you very much for these murders.

  Phil Philips : What's my motive?

  Agent Campbell : The reason most men do stupid things. A woman.

  [he turns the lights off and a one-way mirror to an adjacent room opens] 

  Agent Campbell : Enjoy the show.

  Phil Philips : [seeing Sandra inside]  What the hell is she doing here?

  Connie Edwards : Who is that?

  Phil Philips : It's Sandra White. She's one of my clients.

  Lt. Banning : Actually, her name is Sandra Peterson. She walked into the federal building this morning and said you murdered her wife, Jenny Peterson.

  Phil Philips : Hey, I didn't murder anybody.

  Connie Edwards : I didn't know Jenny was even married.

  Phil Philips : Neither did I.

  Lt. Banning : [turning on the intercom]  Let's listen in.

  Sandra : Well, he said that he killed them. The entire Happytime Gang, even his own brother.

  Phil Philips : What?

  Agent Campbell : And why would he do that?

  Sandra : We've been having an affair, and he wanted to run away together. He said he killed them all so that I would get my wife Jenny's share, and then I'd be rich, and he could have me all to himself.

  Phil Philips : I should have kept my fuzzy blue in my pants.

• Lt. Banning : Good work, you two. I knew you had it in you.

  Phil Philips : Oh, thanks, Lieutenant.

  Lt. Banning : Edwards, you're off suspension.

  Connie Edwards : Thanks, Lieu.

  Lt. Banning : And, Phil, I talked to the captain, and he put in a motion with the mayor's office to permanently repeal the Philips Code.

  Phil Philips : What?

  Lt. Banning : I know it's early, but... what the heck?

  [offering Phil his police shield] 

  Lt. Banning : I've had this sitting in my desk, waiting for this day.

  Phil Philips : Wow.

  Connie Edwards : How about that? Far be it from me to compliment you, but you're the best damn cop I've ever seen.

  Phil Philips : Oh, well, you're no bag of shit, either.

  Connie Edwards : Well, you're a real fucking poet, aren't you? You asshole.

  Lt. Banning : You are both equally not bags of shit. In fact, when you're working together, you're two peas in a little fucked-up pod.