- Emma Tutweiller: The next report is on...
- Bailey Pickett: Please say Kettlepot, please say Kettlepot!
- [dons a cowboy hat]
- Emma Tutweiller: Tokyo.
- Bailey Pickett: Goose darn it!
- Cody Martin: [talking about Miss Tutweiller] Looks like she's busy with Moseby.
- Bailey Pickett: Yeah, look at those two. Do you think they're courtin'?
- Zack Martin: First of all, no one's been "courtin'" since 1922, which, by the way, was the last time Moseby had a date.
- Emma Tutweiller: [to the students] You people should be ashamed of yourselves. Do you think this class is a joke?
- [Zack is discreetly listening to a Red Sox game on a radio]
- Zack Martin: [jumping up; shouting] Yes!
- [sees Miss Tutweiller staring at him]
- Zack Martin: ... Unless the right answer is no!
- Cody Martin: The only woman Moseby has kissed in the past thirty years was his mother, and even she's not too thrilled about it.