Geisha Assassin (2008) User Reviews

Should have been more fun.

[BA_Harrison · 6/10 · 31 July 2010]

The title pretty much says it all: pretty geisha Kotomi (Minami Tsukui) seeks revenge for the murder of her father, but to get to the man responsible for his death she must first defeat a series of foes in mortal combat. That's about it for plot, the film consisting of wall to wall fighting between the young woman and a variety of opponents (including a ronin, several ninjas, a monk, a magic man and his dream demons, and a bow-and-arrow toting 'Indian' woman) before she finally gets to even the score with her dad's killer.

Geisha Assassin is a low budget effort (from an undeniably enthusiastic group of film-makers) and has the distinctive look of having been shot on HD video rather than film; however, considering the relatively low production quality, the result is technically and visually impressive, with smart editing, considered direction, stylish lighting and cool choreography.

And yet, despite all of these positive points, the film fails to be a wholly satisfying experience, the slight plot failing to fully engage the viewer, the action scenes generating very little in the way of genuine excitement thanks to a frustrating sameness of fighting styles and locales, and the finale proving to be the dullest part of the whole affair rather than the highlight. With a tad more fun injected into proceedings—some excessive gore, perhaps, or even more outrageous comic-book-style adversaries—this might have been a hugely enjoyable piece of action cinema. Instead, it's passable entertainment for the duration, but unlikely to make a lasting impression.

5.5 out of 10, rounded up to 6 for IMDb.

B-grade movie in HD

[darkmax · 5/10 · 27 April 2009]

The plot is simple enough. But being an avid fan of ninjas and samurai, I noticed too many mistakes in there.

1. a female geisha would not remove her clogs to fight because there may be spikes on the ground.

2. ninjas are not known to use katana because they are too long and become less effective in enclosed space. They usually carry a straight shorter blade call a ninjato.

3. the bamboo blade the geisha was carrying isn't usually as thick or long as a katana. They are mostly used as a concealed weapon, thus length and width are limited.

4. why did the female ninja keep pulling her mask off and putting it back on during the fight? The purpose of the mask is to minimize the exposed area that a light can shine on during an ambush or night op.

The fighting is stylized and anime-like. It feels a bit weird at times, especially when the geisha was fighting with the monk.

Oh... and the actress did not walk like a geisha. Totally unconvincing.

A Geisha versus Ninjas, Samurai and Wizards

[Uriah43 · 5/10 · 9 October 2016]

Having witnessed the death of her father at the hands of a samurai by the name of "Hyo-e Kataguri" (Shigeru Kanai) a geisha named "Kotomi Yamabe" (Minami Tsukui) is determined to extract revenge upon him. As is so happens, although she has been trained in the arts of a geisha, when she was young she was also taught by her father the skills necessary for a samurai as well and armed with her father's katana she sets off on her quest to kill Hyo-e Kataguri. Unfortunately, once she finds him he manages to slip away and--alert to the knowledge that she is after him--he puts several obstacles in the form of ninjas, samurai and wizards to kill her before she can track him down again. To make matters even more complicated, there is a secret that she is unaware of and this also has an important impact upon her mission as well. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was an okay samurai film which basically consisted of plenty of swordplay and martial arts. So those who enjoy action for the sake of action should have few problems enjoying this movie. On the flip side, however, the plot was rather minimal so viewers shouldn't expect much depth or intricacy. It's an action movie from start to finish. Nothing more and nothing less. All things considered then I rate it as about average.

Very old fashion,orient fake action movie

[shescheating · 3/10 · 26 April 2009]

The film's plot is very simple and old that's you can tell the end at the first you saw it.A young girl revenge to a man not know the reason and no one really care about it,the action began,not surprisingly the young girl defeated very enemy blocks on her way which doesn't make sense,the girl fights two bodyguard,four ninjas,a monk,she was stabbed by a female ninja on the shoulder that makes a lot of act is physically impossible to be done,but she did and killed them all, fake.the ninjas fly to the sky ,do the posture stuff with his partners which can make you laugh or bore,fake.The girl fights a monk which is larger and stronger on size and she still defeated him by her strength ,fake.After that I fell asleep and never wake up until next morning.So any positive about this film?It's can make you a good sleep!Especially on Sunday evening ,you need it!

So it's a typical orient fake action movie you may have watched for thousand times. anyone think this is good because they never see any film in this categories,so I suggest you go watching Samurai X: Trust and Betrayal,which is the masterpiece in every sense of the world.

In the 900 plus movies I've seen in my life (yeah i know, its a lot), this is by far the worst piece of garbage ever.

[isthisbetterb · 1/10 · 12 May 2009]

I need to preface this by saying i love cheesy kung fu movies especially from back in the day (Shaolin vs. Manchu is a classic). I also wasn't expecting a good plot, acting, script, filming or effects, but this is just ridiculous. I have never seen a worse movie in my life (check my movies I've seen a lot)Everything is awful and the fight scenes just don't make sense. You can have someone in an arm bar for example and then there's a quick cut scene and the other person is 30 meters away from them. Its just unenjoyable. Most great cheesy kung fu movies were great because of the era they were created in. The movie fan has changed a lot and this just doesn't work. The fight scenes just don't make sense. Watch until about 25 min in and see if im wrong. You want to watch a movie for fighting where the story is secondary? Watch any Tony Jaa film or go to best buy and pick up a 10 pack of old kung fu flicks for 30 bucks. All copies of this should be burned. oh yeah and this is the only movie I've given a 1 to

Highly enjoyable when you don't take the genre seriously

[Ismaninb · 7/10 · 1 November 2009]

Geisha vs Ninja strongly reminded me of the Italian spaghetti-western. The movie is a fairy tale, so of course it is unrealistic. So are Leone's movies. There are two simple but very human themes: the quest for revenge and the quest for truth. The conflict between those two is not really developed, so no 10/10 from me, but it's there. The leading lady is highly attractive, the cinematography is beautiful, the landscapes are gorgeous and play an essential role. The use of extreme close-ups and flash-backs are also a la Leone. What is missing is sick humour. There is a brilliant joke during the first fighting scene but that is by far not enough. That is another reason to subtract some points. Still G vs N never becomes boring. Excellently choreographed fighting scenes are varied with quieter contemplative scenes. All in all highly enjoyable. Of course G vs N gets slammed for exactly the same reasons Leone was condemned some 45 years ago. Those critics forget indeed that contemporary action movies from the USA (Terminator, The Rock etc. etc.) are not realistic either. So what? At least G vs N does not pretend to be.

Geisha vs Ninjas - a misunderstood chanbara out of Japan

[Artemis-9 · 7/10 · 14 September 2009]

The film has been decried by some viewers because the feats of strength attributed to a mere girl are impossible, particularly after she has been injured. That would put down thousands of action films in which the main character is a man, too.

The film is declared a fake, because the script has the heroine fighting a number of opponents in succession - count them: 2 Ronin, 4 Ninjas, 1 Monk, 1 Assassin, 1 Priest, 4 Demons, 1 Samurai, 1 Young Ronin = 15. The same happens in most action films, and if it does not, then it's because they do not have enough money to pay as many expendable characters; in the best action movies the hero or heroine is supposed to kill hundreds or even thousands of opponents, and survive with less physical damage than our Geisha here, and they are usually acclaimed just for that.

The ninja style bout is a bore, with fake action like jumping to the sky, sliding ten meters over an uneven ground, and so on. True, but that would be inescapable due to the fact the film is an Eastern, and with Ninja in the title. According to the film genre, such scenes are mandatory, though lacking credibility in a rational analysis. The same happens with American or European Westerns in which the colts fire dozens of deadly bullets without being re-charged... and most get good reviews.

The Geisha fights a Monk who is larger and stronger, and she defeated him by her strength, which is another fake. This blame is not true. The Geisha shows stamina equal to the taller, stronger enemy, and defeats him with a clever and unexpected wrestling hold, a figure-four headlock applied with her thighs – the most powerful limbs in an athletic woman wrestler – and takes his breath, and almost breaks his neck with it. Then, as he his still unable to defend himself, she finishes him with a karate punch to the Adam's apple. (I find this quite believable. Kids of all ages: please do not try this blow at home!)

The film is a chanbara, and one should appreciate the music of the tinkling blades together, and the contrast they establish with the opening soft music in a temple where the grown-up Geisha is dancing - a choreography that she had perfecting as a child, even against the will of her beloved father...

Are Western reviewers so much into computers that they became incapable of understanding a story told as a fairytale about a girl's quest for her father's killer, and her family's sword?

I'm not so much in love with this film to the point of rating it 10, but I understand the people who did that. Very nice cinematography and eventually a better film than what we're seeing editing down to 78m32s and without a good translation. I saw it in a language I do not speak, and even so I liked it, and got the main points of the story. That speaks high of Go Ohara, the director and screenplay writer.

Way Better Than Expected, With Quality Action Above and Beyond Your Typical B-Movie

[ebossert · 8/10 · 9 May 2009]

I was apprehensive about blind buying this movie based upon the trailer, which looked like a B-movie that could end up a total disaster - ala "Legend of Red Dragon" (2002). However, I had an extra $20 in online gift certificates and was in the mood for a new Japanese action flick, so I took a chance - and I'm mighty glad I did. "Geisha vs. Ninjas" is not merely mildly entertaining low-budget fare like the "Gun Crazy" series, but is more entertaining for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, low-budget B-grade action flicks have inherent limitations that frequently leave the final product rather wanting. Creating a great action scene with no name actors, little money, and inexperienced stuntmen and choreographers is something incredibly difficult that's accomplished by only the most talented of filmmakers. Most of the time, you end up with a few decent moves mixed in with lots of edits and quick cuts to hide the lack of talent behind and in front of the camera. The people behind "Geisha vs. Ninjas" were the same people behind the action in "Death Trance" (2005) and "Onechanbara" (2008). My expectations were rightfully confused, because "Death Trance" was cool with decent action sequences while "Onechanbara" was stupid with poor action sequences.

Most surprisingly, "Geisha vs. Ninjas" has a number of highly effective swordfights and fist-a-cuffs that use wide camera shots that show multiple attacks and counterattacks from the actors, which is a remarkable, extremely impressive feat that must have required a lot of physical practice and rehearsals off camera. One example is the fist fight between the geisha and the monk, which is truly scintillating and is without doubt of a very high quality, even when compared to more popular martial arts fare from Hong Kong and Thailand. Anyone who watches that fight and claims it to be average B-movie quality simply doesn't know what high quality action is.

I'm probably taking this review too seriously, so let's get to the ninjas. Unfortunately, the ninjas only appear during the first 20 minutes or so, then disappear for the remainder of the film because the scriptwriters obviously wanted to keep things fresh by substituting other bad guys like monks, demons, tribal women, and samurai - which are entertaining in their own right. Therefore, those expecting lots and lots of ninjas will be disappointed in that regard, but when they are on screen they prove very difficult to kill and break out some crazy maneuvers. In addition, the geisha aspect of the film also drops off at about the same time the ninjas leave, as the lead protagonist discards her geisha outfit and goes for some "period" clothing instead. These are relatively minor quibbles that will be perceived as major negatives to those who so desperately want to see a geisha fight ninjas for ninety minutes.

As would be expected, the script is weak and the scoring is generic; but the greatest flaw of this movie is the final half hour, which loses some steam and feels drawn out with too much bland dialogue. This is a blunder because the opening 50 minutes are carried by excellent pacing, energy, and a bit of welcome cheesiness. That's it for the negatives though, and much of these cons are overshadowed by the numerous fight scenes.

Some of the early negative reviews on IMDb are ludicrous. The critics nit-pick the unrealistic aspects of this movie like the length of a sword, as if I care that the length of a weapon was extended for use in a film about a GEISHA FIGHTING NINJAS! Another criticism is that ninjas can't fly and that a geisha swordswoman could never be as strong as the one portrayed here. Well, let me tell you this. In a movie about a GEISHA FIGHTING NINJAS, some superhuman strength and gravity-defying abilities are more than welcome if the characters kick as much rear-end as they do here. The mere premise of this film is so ludicrous than one wonders why anyone would watch it with the slightest expectation for realism. And by the way, ninjas can do anything they want. Do you know why? Because they're ninjas, that's why.

So yeah, this movie is cool in all sorts of ways. For brainless fun, you're in for a good time.

Geisha Assassin

[Tweekums · 7/10 · 28 December 2020]

As this film opens Kotono, the titular geisha, confronts Hyoe, a samurai, and asks why he killed her father. He says he doesn't know who she means. He leaves and she is attacked by two other samurai. These are soon dispatched and she sets off to find Hyoe. Along the way she meets a variety of people who, for reasons she doesn't know, want to kill her. These include female ninjas, a monk with demonic powers and a lone woman in the forest who is a highly skilled fighter. Eventually she faces Hyoe again. Along the way we learn who her attackers really were and more importantly why a geisha would be so skilled in combat.

I wasn't expecting too much from this so was pleasantly surprised. The story is relatively simple... just about everybody Kotono meets will try to kill her and they will fail. The way they attack is nicely varied though and while nobody will doubt that Kotono will ultimately prevail she does get injured more than one might expect. Given the obvious budget constraints the fights are impressive. The cast is pretty solid; especially Minami Tsukui as Kotono. Overall I'd recommend this to fans of the genre; it might not be a great film but it is a lot of fun if you like ninja or samurai based action.

These comments are based on watching the film in Japanese with English subtitles.

How to make a martial arts B Movie 101:

[Zombified_660 · 8/10 · 17 August 2010]

Geisha vs Ninjas, or Geisha Assassin as it's known outside of Japan and the USA, is a fresh, exciting example of how to make an exciting martial arts B Movie. It's fast paced, exciting, and it has a constant flow of action and quick progression from one sequence to another.

It takes the martial arts B movie back to basics, assumes rightly that 90% of it's audience will be far less interested in authenticity than they are in seeing some exciting throwdowns, and provides a constant stream of exciting, energetic and refreshingly brutal fight scenes, with a simple but effective story briskly clipping along with them.

There've been two main points made against the flick whenever I read it reviewed, both of which I think are accurate points but also kind of pedantic and moot.

First is about martial arts authenticity. Martial arts geeks have been hasty to point out that the movie is preposterous and historically inaccurate. I'm going to tackle this head on. Geisha vs Ninjas is quite obviously coming from a comic book fantasy angle, and as someone who knows of and understands the principles of various martial arts but also knows that while the professional martial arts performed in a lot of recent movies is excellent and top notch, it makes for incredibly dull, grounded fight scenes. This movie is aimed at people who want to see a full on kicking of many butts like in the comics they read as a kid, not an expert display of dry martial skill like they see in a dojo. If you're going to get sniffy about whether a 5'2 girl can outfight a 6'1 monk with her bare hands or the fact that a ninja pulls down her mask to talk during a fight, you need to go buy Redbelt or Throwdown or something, this is not the movie for you. If you bought or rented a movie called Geisha vs Ninjas and expected authenticity, you are an idiot.

Second is about the technical quality of the film. This is a very fair point. The film is shot on HD video, not film stock. It's directed by Go Ohara, who was responsible for action direction in Versus and the entirety of the direction of Death Trance. The visual of the movie is much like Versus, with it shot on cheap video, but with excellent direction and shot choice. Also pace is maintained throughout, with precious little time wasted or spent philosophising. If you dislike watching movies with very low production values, you'd be better off to watch Death Trance as that is a high budget film, funded by the Japanese/American Fever Dreams production company. The video stock and recording of the film is, in the slower sections, a little distracting. Most of the blacks are in fact low greys, and on my copy seemed to flicker somewhat. Also the frame rate of the movie doesn't seem quite right, with the non-fight sequences seemingly shot at a slower than natural frame rate. However, the counter-argument to this obvious but inobtrusive lack of funds and equipment is that where a lot of movies have tons of equipment and money but squander it, Geisha vs Ninjas is pushing the limits of what you can do with crappy gear and a few locations by making sure direction, action and concepts are in as high gear as humanly possible.

So to summarise the film, yes, it is doubtlessly inaccurate to it's period, yes it is shot on very little money on cheap gear and it shows, but at the end of the day, if you stop looking for problems and concentrate on the actual movie, it's a rip-roaring, brutal, fight-centric revenge thriller with a great female lead, fantastic action direction and some great locations.

Very Nice Overall, especially fight scenes, of course!!!

[freekpieron · 9/10 · 21 October 2009]

The Fight choreography is really the top of the bill! Like the very best Hong Kong style choreography (Jet Li For Example), Anyway a lot better then Hollywood (more holly than wood). The film was very entertaining, For example the freeze-frame with 4 fighting: geisha against ninja's: re-action after a few seconds: really fantastic! (I gave the whole film 9 out of 10!) The story is OK. Original stories are difficult to find, everything has been done by now... First film that looks and feels like Geisha vs Ninja comes to mind is Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Of course because of the female fighting and the shaolin-style (I know, it's the wrong country): i mean the semi sorcerer fight-style. Jumps from 20 yards, from treetop to treetop... It was really entertaining!!!! DarkMax From Singapore has a point: Some of the mistakes like the Geisha-walking, the katana (See Zatoichi (Shintaro Katsu!) about concealed sword in bamboo!), and others were very obvious mistakes, but if you are looking for mistakes in a movie, you'll always find some/a lot!!

Hmm, honestly this is the best ninja action revenge movie I have ever seen.

[emperorone-1 · 10/10 · 2 November 2008]

I ask you? Why would a Geisha fight Ninjas? Let me tell you, I watched it without subs!! Can you believe it, WITHOUT SUBTITLES!!! I give it 10 out of 10. This movie is a mix of Japanese warriors where they meet and fight. Lets start with the action. Go Ohara is the action director who directed the action in Death Trance and Onechanbara The Movie. The action is like a Japanese wire-fu. There are a lot of flying ninjas throwing smoke bombs, a tough monk, a Japanese barbarian and another monk which he used some magics to contact demons!! Wow, what a show. Japanse B-Movies are entertaining and funny. There are a lot sword fights, punching, kicking, smashing and smack down. The story is simple, is about geisha who seeks revenge of her fathers death. By killing the killer. I didn't understood what he mean't that why he killed her father. But in the movie, I saw the father who began the fight. The acting, well... A bit.....okay, good. The direction is simple. The setting is nice and beautiful. Especially in the begininning of the movie where the Geisha walks at night in Edo. Very nice. The overall is positive. You will expect soo many things. Have I ever felt the movie is dull? No. Thats all I can say and the ending. Well, I don't want to spoil the ending but you might get a surprise. But not a big one.