- Steve Smith: Behold, it is here! My first pube!
- [pulls down his pants and shocks the entire family]
- Hayley Smith: Ugh, it's red!
- Steve Smith: Fi-yahh!
- Hayley Smith: Oh God, I'm gonna be sick!
- Francine Smith: [after turning Steve into a toddler] Look at me, being escorted around town by this handsome young man.
- Steve Smith: Just so you know. I'm speaking calmly right now, but there's a tantrum brewing in me the likes of which this mall has never seen!