- Sen. Hillary Clinton: [to Sarah Palin] I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire, and you just glided in on a dog sled, wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses!
- Sen. Hillary Clinton: I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy.
- Gov. Sarah Palin: And I can see Russia from my house!
- The Priceline Negotatior: Michael, I am here to give you some advice. Nothing is more important than integrity. You've earned your integrity in the Olympic arena and I was born with mine.
- Gov. Sarah Palin: What an amazing time we live in. To think that just two years ago, I was a small town mayor of Alaska's crystal meth capital, and now I am just one heartbeat away from being President of the United States.
- Sen. Hillary Clinton: I don't agree with the Bush Doctrine.
- Gov. Sarah Palin: [laughing] I don't know what that is.
- Sen. Hillary Clinton: I believe global warming is caused by man.
- Gov. Sarah Palin: And I believe that it's just God huggin' us closer.