- Lois Lane: I don't know who or what you are, but you got it all wrong, lady. There is nothing romantic between Lois and Clark.
- Maxima: You have a deep connection to him. I felt it.
- Lois Lane: Then your radar's on the fritz. 'Cause even on a good day, we're barely friends.
- Maxima: He would never have been able to pull away from me if he wasn't drawn by his attraction to you.
- Lois Lane: Look, he's about as attracted to me as a Red Sox fan to the Yankees.
- Maxima: Oh, he might not know it yet. But believe me, there's a bond. And I could see it on your face when you caught us together. You feel it, too. But I finally found a man that I've wanted all my life, and you can't have him.
- Lois Lane: Oh, sorry to rain on your orgy, Smallville. I think I scared off your date.
- Clark Kent: Where'd she go?
- Lois Lane: Probably to find you two a motel room.
- Clark Kent: You don't understand.
- Lois Lane: What's not to understand? You were pulling a "9 1/2 Weeks" in the elevator. I mean, it may not get you a membership in the mile-high club, but, hey, you got to start somewhere.
- Clark Kent: Just calm down.
- Lois Lane: I *am* calm! I am perfectly calm! Why wouldn't I be calm? Dial down the ego, Smallville. I don't care what you do with your love life.
- Lois Lane: Well, I got to go. I'm meeting with a realtor, finding my own place. Those lovebirds are so sweet, my teeth will rot if I don't move out.
- Clark Kent: Hey, Lois, um... you were right. This house is pretty big. If you want your old room back, it's yours.
- Lois Lane: Being housemates didn't work out for us the first time, Smallville. Why tempt fate?
- [winks]
- Maxima: I couldn't let her have you. You're my soul mate.
- Clark Kent: You don't even know who I am.
- Maxima: When I was a little girl, I heard the stories of the brave and gallant men of Krypton. Men worthy of standing by a queen's side. When I learned your planet had been destroyed, I prayed for survivors. And when I saw your beacon...
- Clark Kent: The beacon didn't come from me.
- Maxima: It doesn't matter. I found the last son of Krypton, and you're everything I wished for. A man who is my equal. When we kissed, I felt your passion so much stronger than I have ever felt then any other man. And I could sense that you were desperate as I was to find a mate. You want me as much as I want you.
- Clark Kent: I don't want you.
- Maxima: Are you sure? Because no one on this planet will be a better match. I know the loneliness of not finding your soul mate. You come back with, and you will never be alone. It's our destiny to be together.
- Clark Kent: My destiny is here. And you're not a part of it.
- Clark Kent: [about Maxima] I'm afraid this may not be the last we've seen of her.
- Lois Lane: Hmm. Well, I'll be ready for her. The late-night game of bumper cars might have knocked the wind out of me, but one supercharged fembot can't put a serious dent in Lois Lane.
- Clark Kent: Thanks for showing up when you did. I guess you could say you saved my life.
- Lois Lane: Tell me about it. If I haven't severed your love connection, you would have ended like all her other dates.
- Clark Kent: You know, she said some... weird things to me.
- Lois Lane: Really?
- Clark Kent: She said she was my soul mate.
- Lois Lane: I think you can do a little bit better than a man-eating meteor freak.
- Clark Kent: I know she's not the one, but it got me to thinking. Chloe showed me this love letter she wrote to me years ago, and... her feelings were really intense. And Chloe was right there in front of me, and I never realized how I felt. What *if* my soul mate comes along and I'm too blind to see it?
- Lois Lane: I don't know, Smallville. I think that, when the right girl walks into your life, you'll know.
- Clark Kent: What did Maxima say to you?
- Lois Lane: Nothing for the front page.
- Clark Kent: [reading Chloe's letter] "I may not be the one you love today, but I'll let you go for now, hoping one day you'll fly back to me."
- Chloe Sullivan: The kicker is you did respond with one word: "Lana."
- Clark Kent: I guess I always knew, I just...
- Chloe Sullivan: Clark, that was a long time ago. Don't worry, I don't feel that way now. I just wanted you to read it so that I could finally close that chapter of my life and put it behind me. But don't get me wrong. I don't regret having had those feelings. But that's because they helped me prepare me so I was ready to share my love with the perfect person. And to me, that person is Jimmy.
- [takes back her letter and smiles teasingly]
- Chloe Sullivan: So you blew it, bud.
- Clark Kent: I just want you to be happy.
- Chloe Sullivan: Clark, what you and I have, I will never have with anyone else. You're my BFF. Which is why when Jimmy and I get married, I was hoping that you would give me away at the altar.
- Clark Kent: Absolutely. I'd be honored to, Chloe.
- [they hug]
- Lois Lane: You are about as predictable as mullets in NASCAR. One little mention of you living alone, and you start singing the "missing Lana" blues. You know, I hate to be the one to dish out a helping of tough love here, Clark, but Lana is gone for good. Time to get back in the saddle, buckaroo. But this go-round, you need to look outside your wheelhouse.
- Clark Kent: I didn't know I had a wheelhouse.
- Lois Lane: Of course you do - pretty, friendly, damsel-in-distressy. You need to try another scoop of the 31 flavors, maybe a little less sweet vanilla and a lot more wild cherry.
- Tess Mercer: Do you kickbox, Chloe? I find it helps me focus my anger.
- Chloe Sullivan: Maybe I should rush over to the dojo because I have a lot of it building up right now.
- Chloe Sullivan: This is a hypogeous marker. It's the royal crest from the planet called Almerac. This belongs to their queen.
- Clark Kent: A planet called Almerac? Chloe, I didn't realize that your Brainiac download had included some sort of intergalactic encyclopedia.
- Dr. Edward Groll: After an exhaustive battery of tests, we discovered that the crystal's composition doesn't match any element on this planet. It appears to be some kind of computer hard drive. We believe it may be alien.
- Tess Mercer: You can't be serious.
- Dr. Edward Groll: I know that's hard to accept, but that's what the facts support.
- Tess Mercer: No, the facts are, Lex disappeared in an arctic wasteland here on Earth. He's not lost in space. This crystal is the only clue that we have, so stick to science, not science fiction, and find me Lex Luthor.
- Jimmy Olsen: I'm in love with another woman.
- Maxima: I promise. Just *one* kiss, and you will see that I was meant for you.
- Maxima: Clark Kent. That's a strong name. I like it.
- Clark Kent: Who are you?
- Maxima: Maxima. You don't know how long I've searched for you.
- Tess Mercer: You know, Lex Luthor may have been wowed by your high-tech smoke and mirrors, Dr. Groll. But I've come to expect more hardcore evidence from boys and their toys.
- Dr. Edward Groll: So far, my toys have provided a breakthrough in identifying the crystal's origin.
- Tess Mercer: Prove to me I wasn't wrong spending weeks to lure one of Lex's top scientists out of hiding.
- Dr. Edward Groll: Preliminary findings suggest that the crystal responds at a molecular level to sonic vibrations. If you allow me to proceed, this frequency generator may be the key to telling you what you want to know.
- Tess Mercer: For your sake, I hope it is.
- Chloe Sullivan: You know, unpacking your fiancé really should be a wedding requirement course. I had no idea you had such a prepensity for recording bass-fishing shows and reading Pablo Neruda love poems. And that you've collected every CD ever made by ABBA.
- Jimmy Olsen: I'm complicated.
- Chloe Sullivan: Who knew there were so many sides to Jimmy Olsen?
- Jimmy Olsen: Why? Do you have a problem with that?
- Chloe Sullivan: Not at all. I love a man of mystery.
- [they kiss]
- Chloe Sullivan: But I would keep the ABBA away from Lois. She's a Whitesnake girl, and I don't think she'd understand this side of you.
- Eva Greer: This arrived this morning.
- Tess Mercer: [opening the gift] Hmm.
- Eva Greer: [reading the card] "Meet me at the Ace of Clubs."
- Tess Mercer: Oliver sure hasn't lost his flair for the dramatic.
- Eva Greer: You'll have him eating out of your hand.
- Tess Mercer: Thank him for the dress, but send my regrets.
- Tess Mercer: [finding Maxima in the mansion] Well, talk about being fashion-forward, but I'm afraid you've crashed the wrong disco. Whoever you are, I think it's time that you leave.
- Maxima: Where's the owner of the crystal?
- Tess Mercer: Crystal? I'm sorry, that doesn't ring a bell. But maybe if you told me about the owner, I could help you.
- Maxima: He's Kryptonian. And my perfect mate. You know, I thought there'd be more of them on this planet, but every single man I've come across has been a human.
- Tess Mercer: Hmm. Maybe if we work together... I could help you find this... Kryptonian.
- Maxima: [grabbing Tess by the throat] You're lying to me. I know the beacon came from here.
- [holding up the gift Tess received]
- Maxima: Is it the man who sent you this?
- [choking, Tess shakes her head]
- Maxima: You're trying to keep him for yourself, aren't you? Well, I've traveled too far to let you stand in my way.
- Clark Kent: Lois, I thought you said you didn't have time to work on this article.
- Lois Lane: That's when it was gonna end up buried on the last page. But with this super-endorphin angle, the scoop is a lot bigger. Now, you just learned to dog-paddle your way through a story. What kind of friend would I be if I threw you in the deep end without a floaty?
- Clark Kent: What did the police officers say?
- Lois Lane: They found evidence of a fire in the alley, but they suspect it's unrelated.
- Clark Kent: So in other words, there was no reason for us to come down here.
- Lois Lane: Common rookie mistake. See, that's why you're lucky I came along. The scorch marks are probably from a homeless hoedown. If we talk to a few local transients, maybe somebody saw something.
- Lois Lane: Well, this story just made it above the fold. Cops say a string of hormone-jacked stiffs turned up between Metropolis and Smallville. All males. Ask me, I think we have a meteor freak on a rampage.
- Chloe Sullivan: Am I glad to see you. Now that Lois is riding shotgun in your Mystery Machine, your old sidekick's jonesing for a Scooby clue. Lemme see that concrete crop circle.
- Clark Kent: I know it's not Kryptonian.
- Chloe Sullivan: You said the chemicals in our victims were elevated?
- Clark Kent: Endorphins and adrenaline. All the men died the same way.
- Chloe Sullivan: She's searching for a mate. Those chemicals must be released into her victims once she locks lips with them. She's won the battle of the sexes on her planet and now she's looking for a new contender. If she can find someone to survive her killer kiss, then she can live happily ever after.
- Clark Kent: The only problem is that humans can't take the hormone surge. They all flatlined.
- Chloe Sullivan: Certainly narrows down her choices. There are numerous deaths; maybe I can find a pattern so you can stop this kissing bandit.
- Clark Kent: Chloe, do you remember when you said we'd talk about your condition? You know, if things got worse?
- Chloe Sullivan: Clark, I've analyzed every possible scenario. And as much as it scares me, you can't wave your Kryptonian wand and save me on this one.
- Clark Kent: I'll find a way.
- Chloe Sullivan: Clark, it's just how it is. There's nothing you can do, so just let it go.
- Jimmy Olsen: [recuperating in the hospital] It feels like my chest was run over by a Mack Truck and the rest of me was dragged behind it.
- Clark Kent: I need to know what happened at the Ace of Clubs, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Olsen: Oh, yeah, it must've been all those tequila shots.
- Clark Kent: I know that you were with a woman, Jimmy.
- Jimmy Olsen: Uh, that wasn't my fault, C.K. Well, I mean the-the drinking part was, but... it all started with that letter.
- Clark Kent: What are you talking about?
- Jimmy Olsen: I found an old love letter than Chloe wrote. And I realized... a person never really gets over their first true love. I mean... you believe you're gonna spend the rest of your life with someone. That they're the one. And when you gotta start over again with someone new... is it ever the same?
- Clark Kent: Everyone has to move on, Jimmy. Chloe must have, because she found you. You don't know how lucky you are to have each other.
- Jimmy Olsen: I kissed another woman, C.K.
- Clark Kent: It wasn't your fault, Jimmy. You weren't in control. But I need you to tell me what she looked like so I can find her before she hurts anyone else.
- Lois Lane: [after catching Clark and Maxima together] Give me a break. Does he really think that I care who he sucks face with? Hello. Slutty Anna wasn't even his type.
- Tess Mercer: Amazing, Kent. It seems wherever we are in the universe, our stars keep crossing.
- Clark Kent: It is strange. Especially when I find you in a locked office and you don't have a key.
- Chloe Sullivan: I don't appreciate people breaking into my office when I'm not around.
- Tess Mercer: Door was open.
- Chloe Sullivan: Do it again and I'll press charges.
- Tess Mercer: You made your point.
- Chloe Sullivan: Listen, while I'm here, maybe I could take a look at that supercomputer.
- Tess Mercer: Sorry, but, uh, it looks like the little hacker bird missed the worm.
- Chloe Sullivan: What do you mean? I thought you said I was the only one capable of getting into it.
- Tess Mercer: You might be, but we won't know now because I don't have it. It was stolen.
- Chloe Sullivan: Well, who else would want it?
- Tess Mercer: I intend to find out. Stay by your phone, Chloe. Only a handful of people knew about that device. When I find out who has it, I'm taking it back.