Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie (2009)
Kelly Stables: Melissa
Quotes
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Melissa : All right. Well, now that we're all here, why don't we take turns saying something about Alan and how much he means to us.
[Jake gets up from his seat]
Melissa : Oh, okay, Jake. You want to start?
Jake Harper : No, I gotta make room for cake.
Melissa : All right. Uh, Berta! Why don't you get the ball rolling?
Berta : Sure, what the hell. Zippy, I got to tell you, when you first moved in, I didn't really care for you. You were a persnickety, self-righteous, smug son-of-a-bitch. And now, here we are, six years later. Thank you.
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Melissa : Alan's birthday is next Saturday.
Charlie Harper : Really? I don't think so.
Melissa : Yeppers! He's gonna be 40.
Charlie Harper : Wow, that is so weird. My baby brother's gonna be 40!
Melissa : How old are you?
Charlie Harper : 39.
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Alan Harper : This is so nice! A private, intimate dinner for just the two of us.
[Acts surprised as he enters the room]
Alan Harper : Oh, my God! You guys!
Alan Harper : [after seeing an empty table] There's nobody here.
Melissa : I don't understand it. I told them to be here an hour ago.
Alan Harper : Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? My family are a bunch of thoughtless, selfish buttwipes!
[Alan sees Charlie, Berta, Jake and Evelyn at the door, where they hear his comments]
Charlie Harper : Surprise.