- Patrick Jane: It's nice to be nice. But if you want to get ahead in life, sometimes you have to be a bitch. I know you know how.
- Grace Van Pelt: Gee, thanks.
- Patrick Jane: It's all about the balance, Grace. Yin, Yang. Nice, bitch. Little bit of bitch inside the nice, a little bit of nice inside the bitch.
- Grace Van Pelt: Yeah, I'll work on that.
- Patrick Jane: Keep 'em guessin'.
- Teresa Lisbon: [after Jane gets hit] Are you okay?
- Patrick Jane: Assault. Assault.
- Teresa Lisbon: I would rethink this new technique of yours.
- Patrick Jane: I can't disagree.
- Teresa Lisbon: When are you going to learn to cool it without being told?
- Patrick Jane: Oh come on. They pissed you off too. The sexist pigs.
- Teresa Lisbon: They were.
- Patrick Jane: I just said that.
- Teresa Lisbon: You were saying it ironically.
- Rick Carris: [On tape] Hey, Joe, you're a dead man. Dead. I'm gonna do you my own self. I'm gonna look you in the eye cut your heart out, shove it down your throat you-...
- Teresa Lisbon: [Cuts tape] That's you, isn't it?
- Rick Carris: Hyperbole is lost on some people.
- Steve Preciado: This is *our* arrest. Always has been. We got no time to wait for your *mommy*!
- Kimball Cho: Hey, there's always time. All right? Let's do this right. Go in too quickly and someone could get hurt.
- Steve Preciado: This is *real* police work, sonny! People get hurt.
- Teresa Lisbon: Yes, we get it. You're very calm and in control, Rick. For a man being questioned in a double murder investigation.
- Rick Carris: I didn't do this thing. Although, I've been sitting in this chair so many times, this is kind of restful.
- Kimball Cho: That's right, isn't it? Many times.
- Teresa Lisbon: Look I don't want to make this official, talk to a judge or anything. Once we do that, the cat's out of the bag for good. If you're clean on this, here's the way to prove it.
- [Prciado hands his weapon to Lisbon. Jane grabs Preciado's wrist]
- Teresa Lisbon: Is this the only .38 in your possession.
- Steve Preciado: Yes it is.
- [Angrily to Jane]
- Steve Preciado: And if you try to hold my hand again, I'm going to tear your arm off and beat you unconscious with it! Get me?
- Patrick Jane: Gotcha.
- Patrick Jane: It's funny what bad liars cops are. They're not used to concealing themselves under questioning.
- Teresa Lisbon: I'm a cop. I lie to you all the time. You never catch it.
- Patrick Jane: I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're translucent, my dear. I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you fool me just so you don't feel bad.
- Sam Blakely: The truth, huh? Tell the truth no matter what. That's the mark of a man, right dad? Tell the truth. Man has, uh, his honor and his word. And that's it!
- Det. Dale Blakely: Don't go over the same ground for God's sake. Just give 'em the facts.
- Patrick Jane: I always know when you're lying. Sometimes I let you think you've fooled me just so you don't feel bad.
- Teresa Lisbon: Name one time.
- Patrick Jane: Ahem, last Thanksgiving, you said you were going back East to your brother's house. But I knew you were actually planning to have three days at home alone to watch old movies and eat ice cream.
- Teresa Lisbon: ...Okay, so that's one time.
- Virgil Minelli: Now we're arresting them. Hooray.
- Teresa Lisbon: We have the right. He assaulted Jane and he looks good for the murders.
- Virgil Minelli: Before you charge a cop with murder, he better look better than good. He better look like damn the Mona Lisa.