The Office (TV Series)
Stress Relief (2009)
Jenna Fischer: Pam Beesly
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Scott : And I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you people.
Pam Beesly : What?
Michael Scott : Well, I wrote them down so I wouldn't forget.
[clears throat]
Michael Scott : Jim, you're 6'11", and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumby has a better body than you. Boom. Roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom. Roasted. Pam, you failed art school. Boom. Roasted. Meredith, you've slept with so many guys you're starting to look like one. Boom. Roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke. Boom. Roasted. Creed, your teeth called, your breath stinks. Boom. Roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.
[Stanley starts to laugh]
Michael Scott : Oscar, you are...
[starts giggling]
Michael Scott : Oscar, you're gay.
Oscar Martinez : Wow.
Michael Scott : Andy, Cornell called, they think you suck and you're gayer than Oscar. Boom. Roasted.
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Pam Beesly : We don't normally download movies illegally because we're honest, hardworking people.
Jim Halpert : And we don't know how.
Pam Beesly : But Andy does, so we have to watch it with him.
Jim Halpert : Punishment fits the crime.
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Pam Beesly : Well, I just want to take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam. That man is Michael Scott.
[laughter]
Pam Beesly : He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses.
Michael Scott : Hey, you know what? Forgive me for caring. Right?
Pam Beesly : Well, you know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself. Ever.
[Dwight claps loudly]
Dwight Schrute : Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha.
Pam Beesly : And one time, I walked in on him naked... and his thing is so small.
Kevin Malone : How small is it?
Pam Beesly : If it were an iPod it would be a Shuffle!
