30 Rock (TV Series)

Believe in the Stars (2008)

Alec Baldwin: Jack Donaghy

Quotes 

• Jack Donaghy : Tyler, I know you're upset we didn't pick you for the gold, and I'm going to make it up to you. How would you like to host "Deal or No Deal" in the privacy of your own home?

  Tyler Brody : I think I'll hold a press conference instead. Tell the world there's no such thing as Olympic Tetherball. Or Synchronized Running. Or Octuples Tennis. It's all a lie.

  Jack Donaghy : A white lie that did a lot of good for this country's morale. Did you know that Bush's approval rating was almost as high as 15% following the Olympics?

• Jack Donaghy : Lemon, does Kenneth look up to you?

  Liz Lemon : Of course he does. Kenneth looks up to everybody. He even calls Tracy's lizard Sir.

• Jack Donaghy : What do you take to fly?

  Liz Lemon : Candy and magazines.

  Jack Donaghy : No. Pills. Nobody flies without medication anymore. Why shouldn't you enjoy the same luxuries as a dog?

  Liz Lemon : Coma Naprosil?

  [reading label] 

  Liz Lemon : "May cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime."

  Jack Donaghy : It's very good.

• Kenneth Parcell : Is SpongeBob SquarePants supposed to be terrifying?

  Jack Donaghy : You're darn right he is.

• Jenna Maroney : We're trying to prove who has it hardest in america: women or black men.

  Jack Donaghy : I'll tell you who has it the hardest. White men. We make the unpopular, difficult decisions, the tough choices. We land on the Moon and Normandy beach, and yet they resent us.