- Seyton Ethelquake: That's in deuced bad taste, considering the deuced death threats the deuced little thing is getting.
- Lord Partfine: Better a death threat than a threat of death.
- Farper Twyly: [reading the will] To complete stranger Ray Vestinhaus, whose car just broke down, I leave $10,000, to be given out in small denominations.
- Ray Vestinhaus: Holy smoke, what a piece of luck!
- Jack Tugdon: Me, I'm a man of action. Jungle action. Dealing with the Pekingese man-o'-war, the Rubenesque laughing cobra, the knock-kneed squirrel-cat, or the Tahungan mouse-bunny, I'm right at home then. But my jungle... is the jungle.
- Sabasha Fanmoore: I sit here like a tiny, tiny kitten; a kitten that's about to be picked up with tweezers it's so tiny.
- Farper Twyly: Are you members of the immediate family?
- Billy Tuesday: I am, but I'm not.
- 8 O'Clock Farraday: She isn't, and so am I.
- Sabasha Fanmoore: [after the lawyer is murdered before he could reveal his secret] Oh, he never should have told us he knew something.
- Burling Famish, Jr.: [seeing Tugdon still wearing the same outfit] Oh, there you are, Jack Tugdon! Why, it looks like you never went to bed!
- Jack Tugdon: Oh, I did once, years ago.
- 8 O'Clock Farraday: Now remember, it's important that we all stay together!
- [pause]
- 8 O'Clock Farraday: Okay, let's split up.