- [first lines]
- Jason Philby: Jake, stop screwing around. You're gonna run the battery down and we're gonna be stuck here forever.
- Jake: Can we call a tow truck now?
- Jason Philby: Hey, have faith in your dad, alright? I can fix this thing.
- Jake: But that's what you said an hour ago.
- Jason Philby: Stop being such a pessimist.
- Jake: What's a pessimist?
- Jason Philby: A pessimist is... some one who... doesn't believe in anything.
- Jason Philby: We're broken down on the side of a road in Iraq. We're in a brand new shiny SUV. We might as well hang signs from our heads, saying shoot us, we're stupid Americans.
- Bob: Stupid *crusading* Americans, man.
- Jason Philby: Don't start with that shit.
- Bob: [mechanically reciting] We're direct descendants of the Templars, here to reclaim the Holy Land in the name of the one true God, man.
- Jason Philby: I thought Buddhism was all about orange robes and shaved heads.
- Bob: It's the notion of the eternal return. It postulates the continuing cycle of birth, death, and re-birth of an individual, ad infinitum, until such time as that person achieves enlightenment and is release from earthly suffering.
- Jason Philby: So like deja vu all over again.
- Bob: Yeah. All of human history repeating itself over and over, in every detail, from the fall of Rome to this very conversation.
- Jason Philby: So we've been here before?
- Bob: Uh huh.
- Jason Philby: That *is* worse than diarrhea.
- Bob: You know how people say, everything happens for a reason?
- Jason Philby: Yeah, it drives me crazy.
- Bob: It's better than the alternative.
- Kid: I'm just a psychological manifestation of your psychological manifestation of your sub-conscience guilt.
- [last lines]
- Burgess: This is your lucky day. My superiors have just informed me that you're going to be formally charged.
- Jason Philby: So I'm free to go?
- Burgess: No. You'll be remanded to a state psychiatric institution for psychological testing.
- Jason Philby: On whose authority?
- Burgess: You don't need to know.