- Jesse Pinkman: Yo, I get I shouldn't call, but I'm in a situation over here, and I need my money.
- Walter H. White: I just gave you $600.
- Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, and thanks, Daddy Warbucks, but that was before my housing situation went completely testicular on me, okay?
- Walter H. White: All right. Got one. Steely Dan.
- Walter White, Jr.: Uh... no.
- Walter H. White: Yes, absolutely. No, look... no, in terms of pure musicianship, I would put them up against any current band you can name.
- Walter White, Jr.: You wouldn't know any current bands.
- Walter H. White: [a car horn honks outside] That's beside the point.
- Skyler White: Have a good day, honey.
- Walter White, Jr.: [standing to leave] You, too.
- Walter H. White: Ah, Boz Scaggs. There's another one.
- Walter White, Jr.: Whoever they are. Bye. Thanks for breakfast.
- Skyler White: Bye.
- Walter H. White: You're welcome. Listen, tell Louis to drive carefully.
- Walter White, Jr.: All right.
- Walter H. White: Our son doesn't know who Boz Scaggs is. We have failed as parents.
- Skyler White: Come to think of it... I barely know who Boz Scaggs is.
- Walter H. White: Stop it.
- Walter H. White: [spotting the RV outside his house] What is wrong with you? Why are you blue? Ugh, Jesus.
- Jesse Pinkman: I'm sorry. Let's just say it starts with my parents being greedy, kleptomaniac douchebags.
- Walter H. White: Are you actually this stupid?
- Jesse Pinkman: No, look. I know this isn't optimal...
- Walter H. White: To come to my house and park on my street, driving this vehicle. I mean, what the hell is wrong with you? I'm-I'm really asking.
- Jesse Pinkman: Nothing. I'm sorry. I just...
- Walter H. White: What if Skyler had seen you? Huh? What then? What was the plan then, genius, huh?
- Jesse Pinkman: I don't know.
- Walter H. White: You don't know. You know why you don't know? Because you don't think. That's why. You don't think. You never figured out how to think, did you, Pinkman?
- Jesse Pinkman: I just need my half of the money, and I will go.
- Walter H. White: Your half? There is no "your half" of the money. There is only my all of it. Do you understand? Why should I be penalized because of your sloppiness?
- Jesse Pinkman: Look, that is completely uncool, all right? We agreed, 50/50 partners.
- Walter H. White: Partners in what? What exactly do you do here? I've been meaning to ask, because I'm the producer, right? I cook. But from what I can tell, you are just a drug addict. You are a pathetic junkie, too stupid to understand and follow simple, rudimentary instructions. Too stupid to re...
- [Jesse grabs him and begins a physical fight]
- Walter White, Jr.: Dad's cooking breakfast.
- Walter H. White: But don't worry. I'm also doing all the dishes.
- [wafting the smell of pancakes at them]
- Walter H. White: Mm. Huh? Huh? Yeah? Huh? Nice? Follow me. There's also orange juice and grapefruit juice, which, personally, as you know, I've never been a fan of. But considering all the polyphenols and the limonoids, can't hurt.
- Skyler White: Walt, you didn't have to do this.
- Walter H. White: I wanted to.
- Walter White, Jr.: I didn't know you were allowed to touch the stove.
- Walter H. White: Hilarious, Groucho.
- Clovis: [cocks shotgun] Hands up, asshole!
- Jesse Pinkman: Yo, yo, yo! It's cool.
- Clovis: So help me, I will spread you!
- Jesse Pinkman: No, please, no, all right? It's me, okay? It's Jesse! All right? Look, this is my RV. You towed it. Your cousin Badger, remember?
- Clovis: What the hell you doing here? You smell like shit!
- Jesse Pinkman: It's a long story.
- Clovis: So I fixed up your felonious rolling laboratory here, 750 for the repair. Make it a grand counting the toilet, plus the 500 you already owe me and you're good to drive on out of here to someplace far away.
- [pause]
- Clovis: Upwind.
- Mrs. Pinkman: You have two sets of keys and the padlock to the garage. Leave them on the kitchen counter when you leave.
- Jesse Pinkman: No, mom, mom, mom! Hey, where am I stu-pposed to go?
- Mrs. Pinkman: I don't know, sweetheart. But please, turn your life around.
- Jesse Pinkman: Yeah, this is gonna help bigtime with that. Bitch!
- Skyler White: When you decide to grow up, you can have it back.
- Walter White, Jr.: Why don't you grow up, Mom?
- Walter H. White: Flynn? You know about this Flynn thing?
- Skyler White: Mhm.
- Walter H. White: Oh, okay. Flynn. Yeah. As in what, Errol?
- [laugh]
- Skyler White: I don't know. It's what he likes to be called these days.
- Walter H. White: What's wrong with Walter Jr.?
- Skyler White: Don't take it personally. He wants his own identity.