- Tara Thornton: [her mother comes in the bathroom] What do you want?
- Lettie Mae Thornton: Sam Merlotte's here to see you. You ain't sleepin' with him, are you?
- Tara Thornton: Now what makes you jump to that conclusion?
- Lettie Mae Thornton: Cause he brung flowers with him. And men only bring flowers if they already slept with you and lookin' to again. That especially goes for white men as black men are less prone to grovel.
- Jason Stackhouse: [about Eddie] All I'm sayin' is Lafayette didn't have to kidnap him and I'm pretty sure he left with some V.
- Amy Burley: Hey! If you wanna make the same arrangement with Eddie Lafayette's got, then have at it. This was just the only thing I could think of to get you out of blowin' your first vampire.
- Jason Stackhouse: You done this before, haven't you?
- Amy Burley: Done what?
- Jason Stackhouse: This! Kidnappin' vampires! Jesus! I should've known something wasn't right the second you walked into my life carrying that big bag of crazy! 'Cause any woman with a purse that big's bound to have something in it I don't wanna know about!
- Amy Burley: Jason, baby. You're sweet but you've gotta mellow out.
- Pam: [looking on as Sookie and Bill kiss] If I had any feelings, I'd have the chills right about now.
- Eric Northman: Not me.
- Sam Merlotte: I spent my whole life either running away from people or pinning my hopes on somebody I can't have. I'm done with that.
- Eric Northman: [watching Ginger clean up what's left of LongShadow] When Ginger is finished, glamour her for me.
- Pam: Are you sure? She's been glamoured one too many times already. Who's knows how much of her is left.
- Eric Northman: It's either that or turn her. You want her?
- Pam: Please! I'm not that desperate. Glamour it is.
- Eric Northman: [satisfied] Excellent.
- Pam: [handing Sookie a leather outfit] Put these on.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Oh, thank you. But I-I'm fine really. I'm just gonna dry out my hair and be on my way.
- Pam: You're not going anywhere. Eric and your boyfriend aren't nearly done talking just yet.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Is... Bill is some kind of trouble?
- Pam: That's for the boys to figure out. Right now, what you need to do is change out of your clothes. There's vampire in your clevage.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [looks down and gasps] Okay. Eeww!
- Pam: Allow me.
- [takes the bloody piece out]
- Sookie Stackhouse: Thank you.
- Pam: I'm beginnin' to understand the fuss everyone's makin' over you.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [worried] So, you're not in any trouble?
- Bill Compton: A simple slap on the wrist. That's all.
- Sookie Stackhouse: You swear? Because Pam made it sound...
- Bill Compton: Pam was turned almost a hundred years ago, and yet somehow still behaves as though every day were Halloween. She's all drama and theatrics. I assure you, everything's going to be fine.
- Amy Burley: [after telling Jason how she feels about him] Why is it that we all need to be loved, but then when somebody finally says, I love you, people just run scared?
- Sam Merlotte: [to Tara] Well, I hate to break it to you but you're not even the most fucked up person in this house much less this town.
- Rene Lenier: [after Jason tackled him] You some kinda tree hugger now? You gonna kill your best buddy to save a tree?
- Bill Compton: [as Eric enters his home] I take it by your being here, there was no way around it then?
- Eric Northman: I can't really say. Didn't exactly look into it.
- Chow: What's your game?
- Bill Compton: Excuse me?
- Chow: You were playing Wii. What's your game?
- Bill Compton: Golf.
- Chow: What's your best score on Pebble Beach?
- Bill Compton: Seven under.
- Chow: Mine's eleven under.
- Bill Compton: [deadpan, to Eric] I liked Long Shadow better.
- Jason Stackhouse: [about his wife and him being gay] What, she never even had a clue?
- Eddie: How could she, when even I didn't?
- Eric Northman: [looking around Merlotte's] Wow. This place is even more depressing than I thought it'd be.
- Bill Compton: [about Eric] Tell me, do you enjoy living halfway up his backside the way you do?
- Pam: Yes, it's nice. You should try it.
- Eric Northman: [to Bill] If you're their poster boy, the mainstreaming movement is in very deep trouble.
- Eric Northman: You killed a vampire, Bill. For a human. What are we gonna do about this?
- Bill Compton: What do you have in mind?
- Eric Northman: I'll take the girl.
- Bill Compton: No!
- [long pause]
- Bill Compton: You can have anyone you want. Why do you want her?
- Eric Northman: Why do *you* want her? You're not in love with her, are you?
- Bill Compton: [incensed] Sookie must be protected.
- Eric Northman: Now, that sounds like an edict. But it couldn't be, because I would know about that. Admit it. You love her.
- Bill Compton: If I hadn't done what I did, would you have let his disloyalty stand?
- Eric Northman: Whatever I did to Long Shadow I would not have done in front of witnesses. Especially not vampire witnesses. Not smart, Bill. Not smart at all.
- Tara Thornton: [about Lettie's exorcism] What exactly did you do to my mama?
- Miss Jeanette: You were here. You saw it.
- Amy Burley: [outside the bar] Hey you. Listen, you alright?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Sometimes I wish I smoked, you know, so you could sneak outside without anybody knowing something's wrong with you.
- Amy Burley: [understanding] Okay. I'm really sorry about your cat.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Maybe I shouldn't have come in today.
- Amy Burley: Yeah, I was gonna say why did you?
- Sookie Stackhouse: I don't know. Maybe 'cause lately it seems like if I called in sick everytime somebody I loved got mudered, I'd never make it in for a single day of work.
- Amy Burley: Well, don't you think Sam would understand?
- Sookie Stackhouse: I guess. But if I went home, what would you do?
- Amy Burley: Me? What's it got to do with me?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Well, with Arlene doing nothin but showin' off her ring to anybody who will look at it, you'd be the only one waiting tables.
- Amy Burley: Yeah, she's gonna be a handful, that one.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Can you imagine what she was like the first time she got married? What about you? You ever been married?
- Amy Burley: Is this the part where the sister asks what the girl's intentions are with her brother?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Hm-mm. 'Cause right now I am all about protecting Jason.
- Amy Burley: He misses you, Sookie.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Right.
- Amy Burley: No, he does. I mean, between your grandma passing and then what happened afterwords with you.
- Sookie Stackhouse: He told you about that?
- Amy Burley: He couldn't not. I mean, he's a mess about it.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Well you wouldn't know it.
- Amy Burley: Look, I know what you must think of him, and I get why you're mad at him, I do. But he loves you. You still got people around you who love you. And all I can hope is that maybe one day I can be counted in among those people.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [pauses] You are way too good for him. You know that, right?
- Amy Burley: [almost laughing] Of course, I know that. I'm not stupid.
- Jason Stackhouse: So, uh, how'd it work out for you, with guys and everything?
- Eddie: [looking at his situation] You tell me.
- Bill Compton: [in bed with Sookie after finding the cat dead] Aren't you tired?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Everytime I close my eyes, I see her face.
- Bill Compton: Your cat?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Gran. But now that you mention it, Tina's in there too.
- Bill Compton: You do know that I'm not gonna let anything happen to you. That I am here for you, to protect you.
- Sookie Stackhouse: What if I don't wanna need to be protected? What if wanting to be protected makes me feel like the helpless little girl I used to be all over again?
- Bill Compton: Sookie... all of the things that you need to be protected from, all of the trouble you're in, you are in because of me. So, you needing to be protected has nothing to do with you or who you are. All of it is my fault. So why don't you just go to sleep and let me be the one to worry about it.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Bill, all the trouble I'm in, it's mine. I chose it. I chose it when I chose you.
- Bill Compton: Yes, but...
- Sookie Stackhouse: Don't you think I wanna blame somebody else? But what happened to my Gran, and now to poor Tina, it's my fault. And it's sweet of you to try to take it on from me, but if I let you, I'd be so mad at you, I'd never be able to look at you again. And right now your face is just about the only thing getting me by. So why don't we just leave it on me, okay?
- Bill Compton: [pause, accepting] Very well.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Night Bill.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [very upset] How 'bout I tell you what you can get for me, Andy Bellefleur. I'd love to have who ever's killing off my family's head on a platter! Think you could arrange that for me?
- Jason Stackhouse: What's with the weight, dude? I thought all you vampires were supposed to be in shape.
- Eddie: We are what we were when we were turned.
- Eddie: Comes a point in life when you realize everything you know about yourself, it's all just conditioning. It's the rare man who truly knows who he is.
- Jason Stackhouse: Most of the gays I come across, they look like...
- Eddie: You. You're what we're supposed to look like.