Sam and Max: What's New, Beelzebub? (2008 Video Game)

David Nowlin: Sam

Quotes 

• Sam : Do you have any...?

  Bosco : Boy, I'm standing buck naked on an empty stage, miles below the surface of the Earth! Do I look like I have anything?

  Sam : [looks at Max, who shrugs, then continues anyway]  Do you have any chainsaw gasoline?

  Bosco : [to camera]  I really *am* in Hell.

• Max : We've been living over a gateway to hell the whole time and we never took advantage of it?

  Sam : Our condo association is going to receive a very stern letter.

• Sam : By the ruby-red goiters of Rube Goldberg! Look, Max, it's Santa's sleigh!

  Max : What an unexpected stroke of luck!

  Sam : Or is it, Max? Remember that time long ago when we jacked Santa's sleigh in an effort to save Christmas and drove it recklessly into a hellish vision of the future very much like the one we're standing in now?

  Max : I stopped paying attention halfway through that sentence.

• Sam : [to Bosco]  Why are you standing naked on a stage in front of your mother, your therapist, and a Mexican?

  Max : Wait, wait, I know this one...

• Sybil : You'll never guess what Abe did on our date last night.

  Sam : We stopped speculating about that months ago. It was making me lose my appetite.

• Sam : Is there room in the wedding party for Max and me?

  Max : As President of the US, and High Priest of the Ocean Chimps, I'm qualified both legally and spiritually to conduct the ceremony.

  Sybil : Hmm, how to put this tactfully? They'll be serving ice cream in Hell before I let that happen.

• Sam : What's the wedding gonna be like?

  Max : Is it a shotgun wedding?

  Sybil : Max! What a thing to ask! Oh, wait. He doesn't know what that means, does he?

  Sam : Just let him enjoy his fantasy version for a while.

• Stinky : [Whizzer is selling "Fruit of Forbidden Knowledge Cider"]  Maybe you two can give me some advice. Mr. Whizzer's offer sounds *very* tempting...

  Max : Now it all comes down to your per-bottle cut. Don't accept anything less than ten percent for the first year, with quarterly renegotiations.

  Whizzer : Done!

  Sam : Shut up, Max!

• Sam : Boy, Stinky sure is a misogynist, huh?

  Max : Yeah! In his world, women are all either indecisive, overbearing, or outright liars.

  Sam : I'm sure glad *we* don't live in that world!