- Sheldon Cooper: [walks into the bar] Dad?
- George Cooper Sr: [startled] The hell are you doing here?
- Sheldon Cooper: I need to talk to you.
- George Cooper Sr: How the hell did you find me?
- Sheldon Cooper: It's not like you come home smelling like coffee.
- Sheldon Cooper: [once he finally fished the hot dog slice out from under the fridge and picks it up with tongs] Whew! That was driving me crazy.
- [Then, before he drops it in the trash, he talks to it]
- Sheldon Cooper: Thank you for getting me into college.
- Mr. Givens: [Comes back from the restroom and sits down at the bar] Alright, let's get me drunk.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hi, Mr. Givens.
- Mr. Givens: Oh, come on!
- Ms. MacElroy: I don't think I have anything left to teach Sheldon. I'm pretty sure he's already smarter than me.
- Coach Wayne Wilkins: All right, who's hotter: Cindy Crawford or Jessica Rabbit?
- George Cooper Sr: One's a person, one's a cartoon.
- Coach Wayne Wilkins: And you couldn't get either one of them. Now, answer the question.
- George Cooper Sr: How do we get your mom on board with you goin' where Sturgis teaches?
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, how did you get her to agree to marry you?
- George Cooper Sr: Aw, that won't work. She don't drink anymore.