Team Fortress 2 (2007 Video Game)
Nolan North: Merasmus, Bombinomicon, Redmond Mann, Blutarch Mann, Zepheniah Mann, Pumpkin Bomb
Quotes
-
Merasmus : Merasmus the Wizard has come for your souls! Soldier! Never anger a magician!
-
Redmond Mann : You there! BLU team! I'll double what my ratstink brother is paying you!
Blutarch Mann : You imbecile!
[shuffling noise]
Blutarch Mann : This is what I'm paying them!
Redmond Mann : Geh! Never mind!
-
Bombinomicon : [the Bombinomicon, a detonating book, speaks to players when Merasmus unleashes him] Ey, buddy! I'm gonna give you a bomb head. Go run at that wizard.
-
Bombinomicon : [welcoming the players to Skull Island after Merasmus has been defeated] Hey, guys! Beat that wizard, huh? Good stuff, good stuff, buddy. How do you like this island? Pretty nice, huh? Waterfront property. Yeah, it's mine. Well, it's a timeshare. It's good for romancing the ladies though, no? There's this little cookbook I've been seeing, and - hey, it's pretty nice. Well, you feel free to poke around, I guess. You know, looks like that's what you're doing anyway, right?
[laughs]
Bombinomicon : Feel free to steal everything that isn't nailed down. Hey, I'm a book! What do I need with it?
[the player approaches the hat Merasmus was wearing]
Bombinomicon : Ah, Merasmus' skull hat. That's gonna look real nice on your head. Ey, it's pretty nice. Good choice, buddy. Very nice choice.
-
Redmond Mann : This is Redmond Mann speaking from an unspecified location beyond the grave. I may be dead, but as long as you're cashing my checks, you'll damn well do what you're told. And I'm telling you to push my brother to hell!
-
Blutarch Mann : It is I, your employer, Blutarch Mann. From beyond the grave! I've given you thick-skulled slugs one thing to do for a hundred years now: Shoot each other! Now I'm giving you something even easier to do: Push my brother to hell!
-
Redmond Mann : [RED team is winning] Yes! Sending my brother to hell was my best idea since the pregnancy machine!... Which isn't off the table, by the way.
-
Blutarch Mann : [RED team is close to winning] Blast! I should've hired the RED team!
Blutarch Mann : [if BLU team is winning, Redmond's body is closer to the final checkpoint] Whatever it is you're doing, it's working! I'm winning! And you're losing, Redmond! I will be the last man standing!
Blutarch Mann : How do you like those ghostly apples, Redmond? No need to answer. They are bitter, tart ash in your mouth, I'm sure of it! Yes yes yes...
-
Redmond Mann : BLU team! Stop fighting! My brother and I call truce!
Blutarch Mann : Shut up, Redmond!
Redmond Mann : [laughing]
Blutarch Mann : Keep fighting! Don't listen to my idiot brother!
-
Blutarch Mann : Dear Lord! This is Blutarch Mann speaking!
Redmond Mann : And Redmond.
Blutarch Mann : Shut up, Redmond, I'm praying! Lord, please send my brother to hell. Amen.
Redmond Mann : Lord, wait! Whatever he's praying to you for, I'll double it.
Blutarch Mann : No!
Redmond Mann : Ha ha ha ha! I win at praying, brother.
-
Redmond Mann : Blutarch, we're family. Tell you what, on the count of three, let's both apologize and go to heaven. One, two, three. I'm...
Blutarch Mann : I'm sorry. No!
Redmond Mann : [laughing]
Blutarch Mann : I meant I'm sorry that I'm sending you to hell!
Redmond Mann : No!
Blutarch Mann : And I'm *not*! Sorry!
-
Redmond Mann : [Blutarch laughs to himself] What's so funny, brother?
Blutarch Mann : Oh, I'm just thinking about all the gravel I'll have when you're gone.
Redmond Mann : And where do you intend to get all this gravel in hell, brother? While I'm on Earth, which is virtually made of gravel?
Blutarch Mann : The devil! I plan to trade him all your gravel for it!
Redmond Mann : [gasps] Don't you dare, Blutarch!
-
Bombinomicon : [reaching the end of the battle for Hell Island] Okay guys, first come first serve. Happy Halloween, you knuckleheads.
Bombinomicon : Okay, let's go guys! I gotta close up Hell. It's not a 7-Eleven.
[laughs]
Bombinomicon : Grab some gifts before you go, bye you guys!
Bombinomicon : Guys, guys guys guys. Let me get real with you for a minute. This is why I got into the Devil business. You, you crazy nuts guys, tearing each other apart like animals.
[tearfully]
Bombinomicon : I think I got a burning cinder in my eye or something. Get some gifts and get out of here you nuts.
Bombinomicon : Okay, good stuff! Get up here, grab a gift, the Devil's a little busy here. I got to go rig an election with Quebec. A local election, but you know, I'm the Devil. I've got to sweat the small stuff.
Bombinomicon : Okay, good stuff, now get out of here you knuckleheads!
Bombinomicon : Man, you guys got some nice souls. Tell you what, you kill each other, anybody who is still alive is gonna get some good stuff.
[whispering]
Bombinomicon : Sorry, I love you guys.
-
Bombinomicon : Hey, when you go back to Earth, make sure you tell everybody I'm the Devil now. Oh I'm gonna be famous. Oh, I'm gonna be more famous than Lord of the Rings! So have you guys been doing? Soldier, still have that stupid wizard for a roommate? Oh, that guy, I could tell you some- You know what? You keep fighting, we catch up later.
-
Bombinomicon : Let me tell you, you guys are like the Tom Jones of tearing a dude's face off. That's not me talking, that's Tom Jones. Yeah, he down here. Tom, say something!
[laughs maliciously]
Bombinomicon : Who am I kidding? He's choking on a bottle of moldy deer poop.
-
Bombinomicon : Okay, twist ending guys. Here comes the big twist! I'm an angel, and we're in Heaven!
[laughter]
Bombinomicon : This was a test all along!
[more laughter]
Bombinomicon : No, I'm pulling your leg, there is no Heaven. There is Hell in every direction.
-
Redmond Mann : The Witching Hour! When the wall between worlds grows thin! Hurry! Cross the bridge to Hell Island! That's where the good spells are!
Blutarch Mann : What the gravel is happening down there? Oh no, werewolves! No, wait... skeletons! Zombies? It doesn't matter, just run!
Redmond Mann : Oh good, the Skeleton King's he- NO! That's bad!
-
Redmond Mann : [Redmond's body, in the BLU cart, has almost reached the final checkpoint] Good gravel! I'm almost to hell, you idiots! Do something!
Redmond Mann : [Payload race lost] No! Noooooooooooo!
[to the mercenaries]
Redmond Mann : I'm taking you to hell with me! Damn you Blutarch!
-
Blutarch Mann : [RED team is in the lead] Drag your knuckles to that cart, you thick-browed member of the servant class! Do you have any idea what ungodly sum I'm paying you vagrants to push a corpse a hundred feet? All you have to do is push a haunted corpse on a railcart into a gaping hell-mouth! It's not gravel science.
Blutarch Mann : All you have to do is send my brother's haunted corpse to hell, then run across a bridge to an enchanted island every time the clock strikes midnight every one and a half minutes to get powerful spells you can use to defeat your enemy, who will be doing the *exact* same thing, but with my haunted corpse! My only worry is this update makes too much sense.
Blutarch Mann : I am speaking to you from the great beyond! But make no mistake, my lawyers are still on Earth, and they *will* prosecute if you do not fulfill your contract. In fact, they're right over there in that evil castle! That's right! They built a terrifying mansion from which to conduct their day business!
[chuckle]
Blutarch Mann : I sense a disturbance in the force... Hold on. Okay, I'm back. My lawyers tell me I'm sensing nothing.
-
Blutarch Mann : Yes! Yes! Send my brother to hell!
Redmond Mann : Wait, what was that?
Blutarch Mann : I'm not talking to you, Redmond. I'm talking to the mercs!
Redmond Mann : My mercs? Don't you dare! They've got a job!
Blutarch Mann : Come on brother. What could they possibly be doing?
Redmond Mann : Sending you to hell, Blutarch!
Blutarch Mann : What? RED team! Stop what you're doing!
Redmond Mann : Belay that order, RED team!
-
Blutarch Mann : Look at me now, father!
Zepheniah Mann : [as a ghost watching what's happening] You did great, son.
Blutarch Mann : Yes, yes, yes, yes!
Zepheniah Mann : [referring to another sibling of the brothers] Gray is still my favorite though.
Blutarch Mann : No! Noooo!
-
Bombinomicon : [various lines upon players entering Hell on the Helltower map] Hey, welcome to Hell! Holy crap, it's you guys! Hey, you guys. Hey, pow zoop. Fight to the death.
Bombinomicon : Hey guys, up here! It's me, the bomb book, from last year! Welcome to Hell! Okay, now fight to the death.
Bombinomicon : Hey, it's you guys! Welcome to Hell! Pow zoop! Go crazy nuts.
Bombinomicon : Holy crap, it's you guys! Welcome to Hell! Hey hey! You brought me a soul. Nice work guys. Now I just need nine more. Let's go.
