Two and a Half Men (TV Series)
Fish in a Drawer (2008)
Michael Lowry: Wes Tosterone
Quotes
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Evelyn Harper : Ugh! What is that? Non-dairy creamer? Just take me to the Green Mile and be done with it.
Wes Tosterone : It's all we got.
Evelyn Harper : Oh, please! All these cops around, one of them can't make a Starbucks run?
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Sloane Jagov : [checking the crime scene, a.k.a. Charlie's bedroom, for semen with a special light] My... God!
Wes Tosterone : It's like a Jackson Pollock painting!
Charlie Harper : The ceiling fan is actually a cute story.
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Evelyn Harper : There was lipstick on his hoo-hoo.
Wes Tosterone : Your lipstick?
Evelyn Harper : Oh, God, no. I'd rather drink your coffee.
Wes Tosterone : So, he was with another woman.
Evelyn Harper : Not necessarily.
Wes Tosterone : Do you have another theory for where the lipstick came from?
Evelyn Harper : Have you ruled out clowns? You should check for really big footprints.
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Berta : I'm warning you, coffee tends to shoot through me. So, if you've got a cavity search planned, you better do it pretty quick.
Wes Tosterone : We don't need to do a cavity search.
Berta : Can I request one?
Wes Tosterone : What do you know about Teddy Leopold?
Berta : I know he was hot for me. He was always flirting.