- Freddie Benson: Hey, why did it take you guys so long to get home from school?
- Sam Puckett: Because my mom had to stop at Save-Mart to pick up her ointment. Any more questions?
- Freddie Benson: Do you even know what Harry Joyner looks like?
- Carly: Yeah, you know, he looks like a man. With a face, and... hair.
- Sam Puckett: [sarcastically] Yeah, I have an uncle that looks a lot like that!
- Sam Puckett: That dentist dude's really going to pay you $1000 for that?
- Spencer: Paid, in advance.
- Freddie Benson: Yeah!
- Sam Puckett: Sweet!
- Spencer: And since you guys helped me get my art career back,
- [hands Sam money]
- Spencer: $40 for you,
- [hands Freddie money]
- Spencer: $40 for you, and...
- [walks across the room to hand Carly money]
- Spencer: ... $41 for my little sister.
- Carly: Aww. I'm special.
- Freddie Benson: When I grow up, I wonder what kind of girl would want to marry me.
- [Sam bites pillow to avoid insulting Freddie]
- Freddie Benson: After I take a shower, my mom makes me sign a piece of paper promising that I shampooed twice.
- [Sam throws herself on the floor, pounding her fists and kicking her legs]
- Carly: [walks in] Should I call an ambulance?
- [showing Spencer's art on her webcast]
- Sam Puckett: Okay...
- Carly: Look at this next sculpture.
- Sam Puckett: It's a robot...
- Carly: - made out of soda bottles.
- Sam Puckett: His eyes light up red...
- Carly: - whether he's angry or not.
- Sam Puckett: Now, this sculpture is called...
- Carly: The Bottle-bot.
- Sam Puckett: Not to be confused with "Bubble-butt," which is what I call our teacher, the horrible Ms. Briggs.
- Carly: Why say that live on the web? She already hates you.
- Sam Puckett: Which means I have nothing to lose.
- Freddie Benson: So what did you say in your e-mail to get Joyner to come here?
- Carly: It wasn't what I said. It was the pictures I attached of Spencer's sculptures.
- Sam Puckett: Joyner liked them?
- Carly: I guess. He said he wanted to come see 'em in person.
- Freddie Benson: That is so cool!
- Sam Puckett: You know what else is cool?
- Freddie Benson: What?
- Sam Puckett: Not you!
- Freddie Benson: Anytime a chance comes along for you to insult me, you just gotta jump on it!
- Carly: You really should be nicer to him.
- Freddie Benson: Ha! She couldn't be nicer to me if she tried 'cause, she has no self control.
- Sam Puckett: I have oodles of self control! I self control myself all the time!