- Adrian Monk: You're all never going to see me again. Ever.
- [holds up five-dollar bill]
- Adrian Monk: 'Cause I'm going to France.
- Adrian Monk: She's a liar.
- [makes farting noises]
- Adrian Monk: There is no way she spent three days in that cabin. No way.
- Lt. Randall Disher: And why not?
- Adrian Monk: There's no TV, so it's impossible. She would've died.
- Dr. Lawrence Climan: Leap... and a net will appear.
- Adrian Monk: Who's Annette?
- Dr. Lawrence Climan: No, a *net* to catch you. You're safe.
- Natalie Teeger: Mr. Monk, it's pretty high up. You should stay in the car.
- Adrian Monk: Do I have to?
- Natalie Teeger: Uh, no. You're the boss.
- Adrian Monk: [gets out of the car] It's such a nice day. It would be fun to run around.
- Natalie Teeger: You want to run around?
- Adrian Monk: [sees Stottlemeyer] Ah, there's the Captain! Come on!
- [runs over]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [calling out instructions to the search party, looking for Sally Larkin] Terrain's a little rough out there! Try to stay in formation. Eyes forward and down.
- Lt. Randall Disher: We're looking for anything unusual! Freshly dug dirt! Signs of a struggle! Articles of clothing!
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Any questions?
- Adrian Monk: Yeah. What do we win?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [confused] What do we win?
- Adrian Monk: If we find the body.
- Lt. Randall Disher: You don't win anything.
- [Stottlemeyer and Disher, who are a little surprised at what Monk has said, look at each other, unable to find out what he has been up to]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: What is this?
- [reads label]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Disher Mint?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah, I made it myself.
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: You made the gum?
- Lt. Randall Disher: Yeah, from a kit... I got it online. In my basement, I'm experimenting with a bunch of new flavors right now. Guess what this one is.
- Natalie Teeger: [making a face] Tar?
- Lt. Randall Disher: No. No, it's Diet Blueberry.
- [Stottlemeyer starts coughing and spits out his gum]
- Lt. Randall Disher: Too much citric acid?
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: Oh, hell. Where'd it go?
- [looks around for the gum]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [to the search party] Okay! Listen up! You know the situation. We've got a missing woman. Her name is Sally Larkin. Her husband is suspect #1. Now Mr. Lar...
- [Disher unintentionally swings his jacket and it hits Stottlemeyer on the back]
- Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: ... kin owns this house right here and these seven acres. And we are going to search that seven acres *thoroughly*.
- Adrian Monk: Are you over, or under 100?
- Doris: I'm fifty-seven.
- Adrian Monk: Fifty-seven? Wow, fifty seven... So you're getting pretty up there.
- Doris: Well, I wouldn't say that...
- Adrian Monk: I would.
- Harold Krenshaw: [while being arrested for indecent exposure] Free yourselves! We were born free from the AHH!
- [two officers handcuff him]
- Harold Krenshaw: I'm free.