A Bunch of Amateurs (2008)
Burt Reynolds: Jefferson Steel
Quotes
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Jefferson Steel : You know what happened to the last director who thought they were smarter than me?
Dorothy Nettle : They won an Oscar?
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Jefferson Steel : Nigel. You're acting like an ass. If anybody acts like an ass around here it's gonna be me.
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Jefferson Steel : [suggesting a play he might appear in the following year] How about Richard III?
Amanda Blacke : Yeah, you're good at sequels.
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Jefferson Steel : Excuse me. So sorry to bother you, Mr Steel.
[hands him a piece of paper and a pen]
Stewardess : No problem, honey. Who shall I sign it to?
Jefferson Steel : The United Kingdom Immigration Department. It's your landing card.
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Jefferson Steel : Then Richard III it is. What's that about again?
Dorothy Nettle : It's about power and seduction.
Jefferson Steel : Well, I'll have to do some research.
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Jefferson Steel : [after his fellow actors have been introduced to him] I don't recognize any of these people. I mean, where is Judi Dench? Where's Kenny Branagh? Just throw in one of the Redgraves.
Dorothy Nettle : All otherwise engaged, I'm afraid.
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Jefferson Steel : I need to talk to the director.
Dorothy Nettle : You are.
Jefferson Steel : You are the director?
Dorothy Nettle : Yes, I am.
Jefferson Steel : I thought you were the driver.
Dorothy Nettle : Well, I'm that too.
Verity Nettle : She's also playing the fool.
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Jefferson Steel : She's in anaphylactic shock. You're going to need adrenaline, a laryngoscope, ventilatory support.
Doctor : Are you a doctor?
Jefferson Steel : No, but I played one in a movie.
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Dorothy Nettle : Do you deliberately set out to offend people?
Jefferson Steel : No, it just comes natural.
[smiles and greets a good looking young woman passing them in the street]
Dorothy Nettle : [under her breath] Except when they are pretty blondes.
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Jefferson Steel : I rest my case.
Nigel Dewberry : Well, I defer to the director.
Dorothy Nettle : [stammering] I... eh... I think there is a definitive performance lying somewhere between Californian realism and English mellifluence.
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Jefferson Steel : I'm leaving.
Nigel Dewberry : Not before me.
[Both run to the door, Nigel Dewberry reaches it first, leaves, and slams the door behind him]
Jefferson Steel : I can slam the door... *louder*!
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Jefferson Steel : I told you it works better in a bigger venue.
Dorothy Nettle : You really are mad.
Amanda Blacke : What's the point of being a movie star if you can't hire the Old Vic for a few nights?
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[First lines]
Girl on Motorbike : [On the screen of a cinema] That was one hell of a bang.
Jefferson Steel : [On the screen of a cinema] You ain't seen nothing yet.
[passionately kisses the girl on the back of his bike]
1st Cinema Girl : Ewww. That is so gross.
2nd Cinema Girl : He is *so* old.
1st Cinema Girl : I know. She could be, like, his granddaughter.