The Witcher (TV Series)

Turn Your Back (2021)

Joey Batey: Jaskier

Photos 

Quotes 

• Man 1 : What's going on here?

  Jaskier : Uh, gentlemen. Good morning. Good to see you. You're certainly looming. Um...

  Man 1 : [Sees Yennefer; thinks she's a prostitute]  Ah, are we working this morning, love?

  [She kicks him in the balls] 

  Man 1 : Ahh!

  Jaskier : Oh, she's so scary.

• Rience : You're so tight-lipped about your old friend the witcher.

  Jaskier : My lips are loose. You can ask anybody.

• Jaskier : Please, I don't know anything!

  Rience : The songs in your catalog would suggest otherwise.

  Jaskier : Listen to me, please! Please listen to me. I... I am a bard. I am brilliant. This is what I do. He grunts, and I tell stories. He mentions a witcher keep, and I turn it into a magical, mystical hideaway in the mountains. So please listen to me when I tell you this. He doesn't share details. He does not have friends. And he does not... have weaknesses!

• Jaskier : I don't have any money. I am but a, uh... a humble bard. Or... or if this is about your wife, your mistress, niece, then I can promise you that wasn't me.

• Jaskier : Who the fuck was that?

  Yennefer : How should I know? *You're* the one he kidnapped.

  Jaskier : You mages don't all share an alma mater? You didn't catch him at an alumni event?

• Jaskier : Gentlemen, gentlemen, many men have wanted to punch me in the face. Now is your chance! Come on!

• Jaskier : You don't get to play damsel in distress. That's my job.

• Jaskier : He's after Geralt.

  Yennefer : What? Why? What does he want with him?

  Jaskier : You know, I assumed it was to drink tea and eat crumpets and wax nostalgic over old times.