- Mephiles the Dark: Welcome to my house. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the toWERs...
- Silver the Hedgehog: Um, this isn't really tilted, or a tower...
- Mephiles the Dark: Well, you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here 'cause I get friendzoned so frequently, but that's okay...
- Silver the Hedgehog: I'd like to be in the friendzone! I'd like friends!
- Mephiles the Dark: It's not as pleasant as you'd think. They don't treat you like a friend; they treat you like an item.
- [someone laughs]
- Mephiles the Dark: Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory for these women, but unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect.
- Silver the Hedgehog: Well, I'm not a gamer, so maybe they'll respect me!
- Mephiles the Dark: That just makes you a beta cuck.
- [the rest of the dubbers start cracking up]
- Mephiles the Dark: That's the difference between you and I, Silver the Hedgehog! I'm a- I'm an alpha gamer...
- [cracks up; soon the whole crew devolves into a laughing fit]
- Mephiles the Dark: Anyway, where we- where we droppin', boys?
- [loud laughter]
- Mephiles the Dark: These are all the newest maps they've added... and a newspaper.
- Blaze the Cat: Have you ever actually interacted with a woman in your life before, Mephiles?
- Mephiles the Dark: That doesn't matter. Check out this cool gem I got on eBay for $7.
- Silver the Hedgehog: It's so cool! Can I add it to my rock collection?
- [the scene cuts to Sonic in a fiery landscape]
- Sonic the Hedgehog: OH! OH MY GOD! SOMEONE HELP ME!
- Silver the Hedgehog: Oh my god. That looked like it hurt. What do you think, Blaze?
- [beat]
- Silver the Hedgehog: Blaze...?
- Blaze the Cat: I didn't see it.
- Mephiles the Dark: Gimme back my thing. You see, I had to trap Sonic in the hell dimension 'cause he disrespected gamers.
- Mephiles the Dark: Welcome to Tilted Towers. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Memphis Tennessee, and I'm part lizard. Nice to- yoroshiku onegaishimasu, as they say in Nippon.
- Rouge the Bat: You are quite a hunk of metal, aren't you?
- E-123 Omega: And you're quite one-polygon-titted.
- Rouge the Bat: Here, you want some weed?
- E-123 Omega: I do not have lungs, so I cannot smoke weed. But I will take it anyway, and put it directly into my brain cells. Here we go...
- [inserts the weed gem into his system, while the other dubbers laugh/make appropriate sound effects]
- Computer: Downloading weed.exe...
- E-123 Omega: HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-
- [continues to hold syllable as everyone else howls with laughter]
- Ryan: Keep holding it, keep holding it, keep holding it... hold it... YES!
- E-123 Omega: Wow...
- Hayley: Oh, fuck me running...
- Rouge the Bat: How's it feel? You enjoying it?
- [beat]
- E-123 Omega: What planet am I on?
- Shadow the Hedgehog: [admiring the landscape] Ah, the desert. Count how many sand is here, Omega. That's your first mission.
- [the other dubbers start laughing]
- E-123 Omega: OKAY. ONE, TWO...
- [continues in background]
- Rouge the Bat: Why the FUCK would you make him do that?
- Shadow the Hedgehog: It passes the time.
- Rouge the Bat: It's gonna take so long! Shadow, it's gonna be so annoying!
- Shadow the Hedgehog: [cracking up] I'm curious what the biggest number is...
- Rouge the Bat: No, he's just gonna be counting forever!
- Shadow the Hedgehog: Perhaps, but...
- [descends into a laughing fit with the rest of the crew]
- E-123 Omega: ...21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26...
- [continues]
- Rouge the Bat: Shadow, what have you wrought?
- E-123 Omega: [in background] ... 29, 30.
- Rouge the Bat: This is your faul...
- E-123 Omega: THERE ARE ONLY 30 MILLION SAND PARTICLES IN THIS DESERT.
- Shadow the Hedgehog: See, that was easy!
- Rouge the Bat: Oh, FUCK. Oh my god...
- Dr. Eggman: If someone hacked into my Fortnite account, I'm going to have a birth of cactuses out of my asshole.
- Computer: Currently being hacked.
- Dr. Eggman: [demonic screeching]