How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Spoiler Alert (2007)

Alyson Hannigan: Lily Aldrin

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robin Scherbatsky : Oh, my God, Lily! What are you eating? Gravel?

  Marshall Eriksen : Oh, I know, right? It sounds like cufflinks going up a vacuum cleaner!

  Lily Aldrin : Well, why don't you sing about it?

  Marshall Eriksen : [singing]  Because I don't sing about everything I do!

  Robin Scherbatsky : No, no, sometimes you just sing nonsense words, like a stroke victim. And what's worse: they're catchy! Apple, Orchard, Banana Cat Dance.

  Robin Scherbatsky , Lily Aldrin , Barney Stinson , Ted Mosby : 8663.

  Robin Scherbatsky : See, we know that one because you once sang it for like three hours? What the hell is that?

  Marshall Eriksen : That's my password: AOBCD8663.

• Lily : Ugh, this is all Ted's fault. Ooh, like he's so perfect, Mr. Corrector.

  Robin Scherbatsky : What are you talking about?

  Lily : Oh, come on, you dated the guy for a year and didn't notice that most of what he says is correcting you?

  [flashback] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Oh, can you hand me a Kleenex?

  Ted : Actually, Kleenex is a brand, this is a facial tissue.

  [flashback; during a movie] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Oh my God, is Frankenstein gonna kill that little girl?

  Ted : Uh, Dr. Frankenstein isn't in this scene, that's Frankenstein's monster.

  [flashback; after having sex] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : That literally blew my mind.

  Ted : Figuratively.

  [back to the bar] 

  Robin Scherbatsky : Oh, my God, that is so annoying!

  Lily : Isn't it?

• Ted Mosby : So, i just got off the phone with Cathy. God, you guys are so right. I totally hear it now... See it now?... Smell it? What is it? I left the table for two minutes. What could she have possibly done in that time that was so horrible? Was it...

  [Flashback, at the restaurant] 

  Ted Mosby : I'll be back in one second.

  Cathy : One time, in the tenth grade, as a joke, I told everyone that my English teacher had sex with me.

  [laughs] 

  Cathy : He's still in jail.

  [End flashback] 

  Ted Mosby : Or maybe...

  Ted Mosby : [New flashback]  I'll be back in a second.

  Cathy : So I volunteer at the pound.

  Lily : Oh, isn't that nice?

  Cathy : Yeah. You can't imagine the rush you get from killing a unwanted dog. I make bracelets out of the collars.

  [End flashback] 

  Ted Mosby : Or...

  [Another flashback] 

  Ted Mosby : I'll be back in one second.

  Cathy : I bet he's going to the urinal. yeah. I remember when I had a penis.

• Barney Stinson : [on Marshall's grocery list]  This is like the shopping a ten-year-old does when his parents leave him alone for the weekend.

  Lily Aldrin : What parent leaves a ten-year-old alone for the weekend?

  Barney Stinson : And your mom was perfect.

• Barney Stinson : There's another one called "Golden Reliever", where this dog...

  Lily Aldrin : We can guess.