The Witcher (2007 Video Game)

Jacek Rozenek: Geralt of Rivia

Photos 

Quotes 

• Geralt of Rivia : Power, sex. Sex, power. They both come down to one thing- fucking others.

• Abigail : What about your sword? I heard witchers carry two - a silver blade for monsters and steel for humans...

  Geralt of Rivia : Both are for monsters.

• Geralt of Rivia : [of Adda]  That spoiled little vixen... well, she wants some catoblepas. Rare would be best.

  Triss Merigold : Are you kidding?

  Geralt of Rivia : No. Triss, could you conjure up something, please.

  Triss Merigold : Sorcery at parties is considered very unseemly...

  Geralt of Rivia : I'll create a distraction.

  Triss Merigold : I'll do better myself.

  [casts spell] 

  Triss Merigold : Catoblepas steak, rare, for the Princess.

  Geralt of Rivia : Thank you, Triss.

  Triss Merigold : You know I can conjure up orgasms, too?

  Geralt of Rivia : I think I prefer traditional methods.

• Azar Javed : I warned you. Pissing upwind leads to disaster.

  Geralt of Rivia : You talk too much. Scared?

  Azar Javed : This time you pissed in a tornado.

• Professor : [summoned by Javed]  I come at your command, master. I listen and obey, as a genie would.

  Azar Javed : Professor, cut the crap and get him.

  Professor : [to Geralt]  You see, witcher? Too much water around for Azar to feel comfortable. Fire mages... limited. He needs me to do the wet work.

  Geralt of Rivia : Good. Two worms with one stone.

• King of the Wild Hunt : You want to fight me? So be it. Your flight from death ends here. Draw your sword.

  Geralt of Rivia : I was afraid you'd suggest chess.

• Professor : I hear witchers can parry bolts in flight.

  [Geralt draws his sword. The Professor points at crossbow at him. Leo tries to sneak behind the Professor] 

  Professor : Let's see.

  Geralt of Rivia : Leo, stop!

  [the Professor turns around ands shoots a bolt at Leo, who falls on the floor, mortally wounded] 

  Professor : Ah. Another fairy tale.

• Geralt of Rivia : I do understand your sorrow. Your solitude. If I can do anything...

  Lady of the Lake : Cease treating me like a Goddess, I have enough worshippers. I lack one who sees me as other than the object of a cult.

  Geralt of Rivia : Milady, simple folk... they don't understand.

  Lady of the Lake : I judge them not. But let's return to your desire to help. Begin by paying me a compliment.

  Geralt of Rivia : Hmmm, I'm no good at this. Milady... ehm... your... wisdom is... inferior only to your goodness.

  Lady of the Lake : Enough. I choose not to believe you don't find me attractive, rather... I blame your famous scruples.

  Geralt of Rivia : Milady, your... eyes are like stars glimmering in the night sky.

  Lady of the Lake : Distant and cold. Weak, witcher.

  Geralt of Rivia : Your ass puts others to shame.

  Lady of the Lake : [bursting into laughter]  None has ever paid me such a compliment! My brave knights only praised my soul, though I knew where their eyes fixated!

• Zahin Schmartz : Greetings.

  Geralt of Rivia : Greetings, dwarf.

  Zahin Schmartz : No pain in yer teeth? Schmartz, Zahin, dentist.

  Geralt of Rivia : Geralt of Rivia, witcher, immune to cavities.

• Zoltan Chivay : You hungry?

  Geralt of Rivia : [drunk]  A little.

  Zoltan Chivay : We've bread, but we shouldn't eat plain bread.

  Dandelion : Zoltan's right. We need some lard.

  Zoltan Chivay : That mummy downstairs must have a full larder...

  Geralt of Rivia : You're joking!

  Dandelion : That mummy must have some lard, maybe pickles, too.

  Geralt of Rivia : Shani?

  Shani : Just don't get caught, Geralt. I'll pay for them tomorrow.

  Geralt of Rivia : Wait a second. Why me?

  Zoltan Chivay : Dwarves are no masters of stealth, Shani wouldn't sneak about and Dandelion, well, he'd mess up.

• Dandelion : [asking for Grandma's diary]  Show me. I wonder what granny did when she was younger... bet she was a real player.

  Geralt of Rivia : One track mind.

  Shani : [reading the diary]  Dandelion's right! Five lovers in the first few pages.

  Carmen : Still water runs deep...

• Geralt of Rivia : I'd best start at the beginning. What's your connection to Salamandra?

  Berengar : What the hell... it's a simple story. They found me some time ago and the Professor made me an offer I couldn't refuse. You know the kind- help us or we'll feed you your balls.

• Hairy Bear Innkeeper : Who's there?

  Waitress : Just a witcher.

  Geralt of Rivia : Just?

• Geralt of Rivia : Have you turned stupid, soldier? Either leave on your feet or die on your back.

• Jacques de Aldersberg : Like you, I tried to hide my otherness. To use my powers to redeem my sin.

  Geralt of Rivia : What sin?

  Jacques de Aldersberg : The worst of all. My otherness.

• Alvin : Shani screamed at the man in glasses. He told her she liked freaks and he'd show her what a real man was.

  Geralt of Rivia : Mmhh...

  Alvin : Shani cussed him and kicked him in the...

  Geralt of Rivia : Right... did they hurt her?

  Alvin : No. The man in glasses started crying and the others were afraid to get close to her while she called them bad names.

• Abigail : [on Alvin]  With winter approaching, if I grow hungry, I'll eat him.

  [laughs] 

  Abigail : Doubtless the villagers think so, believing me a monster.

  Geralt of Rivia : Are you one, Abigail?

  Abigail : We all hide a monster inside us.

• Yaevinn : Look into my eyes, dh'oine, and you will see your death.

  Geralt of Rivia : I see a blind fanatic about to perish.

  Yaevinn : Silence, traitor. You've delivered death too often. Retribution awaits.

  Geralt of Rivia : You might be able to brainwash young elves with your slogans, but they don't impress me, nor did they impress those you murdered.

  Yaevinn : I was wrong about you. You're a blind, rabid dog biting anything that moves. Someone needs to finish you off.

• [visions of Yaevinn and Siegfried appear on the Ice Plains] 

  Siegfried of Denesle : [to Geralt]  You thought you could stand aside.

  Geralt of Rivia : I wanted no part of politics. I'm a witcher. I'm neutral.

  Yaevinn : We fought for those we love. You scorned that feel; never understand it.

  Siegfried of Denesle : A machine created to kill. You had no choice. Your time has past.

  Yaevinn : You are obsolete. The world has no use for you. Lay down your sword and rest, Geralt.

  Geralt of Rivia : [to the Grand Master]  Have the courage to fight me, Jacques! Stop hiding behind specters and illusions. I'll find you.

  Siegfried of Denesle : You won't get the chance.

• Alvin : [seeing a drunk Geralt returning home]  You look like the Reverend returning from the cellar.

  Geralt of Rivia : Alvin...

  Alvin : You won't hit me, will you?

• Geralt of Rivia : I can help you break the werewolf spell.

  Vincent Meis : Vrrau. No need. I'm better at catching criminals this way. Also, the criminal fear this terrible monster that defends the poor.

• Adam : [reciting his poetry]  Ahem. Your hands fine and slender, your hips big and tender, all night and day, spin my head a painful way...

  Geralt of Rivia : [appalled]  Enough. Speak no more...

• Jacques de Aldersberg : Only a grand plan pursued without hesitation could save humanity from what I saw in my visions.

  Geralt of Rivia : You trust your daydreams that much?

  Jacques de Aldersberg : I never asked for these visions, this gift.

  Geralt of Rivia : But you chose how to use it.

  Jacques de Aldersberg : Many times you insisted special gifts should be used for just causes. I chose the most just of causes- saving millions of lives.

  Geralt of Rivia : And pursued it by ending hundred of others.

• Jacques de Aldersberg : Many of the gifted foresaw the White Frost. Global cooling is this world's destiny.

  Geralt of Rivia : Why fight it then?

  Jacques de Aldersberg : You always believed man makes his own destiny. I seek to change all humanity's fate.

  Geralt of Rivia : You robbed humanity of its right to decide. You understand nothing.

• Shani : Geralt, are you about to vomit?

  Geralt of Rivia : I never puke after vodka.

• Yaevinn : The order reveals its true face.

  Geralt of Rivia : Under their shining armor, it's all rot.

• Siegfried of Denesle : You were wrong to cross me.

  Geralt of Rivia : You're the one who's wrong.

  Siegfried of Denesle : Stop barking, wolf, and draw your sword.

  Geralt of Rivia : Do you enjoy working for a madman? Do you murder for pleasure or simply to follow orders?

  Siegfried of Denesle : I need not to listen to you. You're not even human.

• Siegfried of Denesle : [of a dead mutated knight]  The bastards! Geralt, I knew him. He was still a human a month ago! Shorter than me!

  Geralt of Rivia : Well, you proved better with a sword.

• Dandelion : Then bold Foltest uttered these words: "Virtous Radovid..."

  Geralt of Rivia : What the hell is that?

  Dandelion : I'm trying to keep a faithful and accurate record of these events.

  Geralt of Rivia : He said, "Stop deliberating, son, we need to put out the fire in this whorehouse".

  Dandelion : Geralt, you have no sense of poetry. There's the truth of time and the truth of legend.

• [Azar has resurrected Rayla as a mutant] 

  Azar Javed : Greetings, Geralt. Have you met Rayla? A singular transformation gave her the gift of life.

  White Rayla : Gerralt...

  Geralt of Rivia : A singular transformation? The gift of life? You call that enslaved bag of blood and muscles alive?

  Azar Javed : Better than alive... perfect.

• [Geralt has found dentist Zahin Schmartz working in the torture chamber of the Execution Tower] 

  Zahin Schmartz : Witcher Geralt. What brings you here?

  Geralt of Rivia : Zahin Schmartz... explains the groans. Heard of anesthesia?

  Zahin Schmartz : Sure, but herbs give me allergies.

• Geralt of Rivia : [to Dandelion, drunk]  You were going to enlighten me about vampires.

  Carmen : This is fascinating.

  Geralt of Rivia : Like Carmen said, it's fascinating, so amazing it's unbelievable.

  Carmen : I don't know much about vampires, but I do know a trick called 'the Vampire's kiss'...

• Carmen : I have an idea: let's play a game.

  Geralt of Rivia : [drunk]  Hmm...

  Shani : It's a brilliant idea!

  Dandelion : I never turn down Carmen when she proposes a game.

  Geralt of Rivia : What game?

  Carmen : Truth or dare.

  Dandelion : Oo... like sexual dares?

  Carmen : Relax, Dandelion, no. Let's say you'd have to steal something from the old lady's cupboard downstairs.

  Dandelion : All right, I'll start. Shani, remember when I walked in on you and Geralt in Oxenfurt...

  Geralt of Rivia : Dandelion, don't go there...

  Shani : Unfair. I can't anger the old lady. She'll throw me out!

  Geralt of Rivia : Then you must tell the truth...

  Dandelion : How did you and Geralt end up in such a compromising position?

  Shani : Umm... professional curiosity. I was researching the influence of mutagens on a witcher's physical condition. I admit I found no defects. Speaking of which, you could use some exercise, Dandelion. It's good for your health.

  Geralt of Rivia : Ahem...

  Carmen : Sweetie, you clearly don't know Dandelion that well. They don't call him 'the tongue of the North' for no reason.

• Shani : Thaler- I doubt you know him. We were walking along the dike one evening when I realized we were being followed by two men wearing grey coats over special forces armors. The coats were supposed to hide them. They didn't know at university I learned to regonize their kind. I thought we were going to be arrested, then Thaler told me not to worry- duty called and we neeeded to part. I was about to give him a piece of my mind when I noticed the men giving him signals.

  Geralt of Rivia : Were they wearing Salamander badges?

  Shani : Wait. I was curious, so I said he broke my heart and faked fainting. Thaler said to the men, "This better be important!" One of them answered, "But chief, we hid invisible-like." Thaler said, "Your balls will be invisible-like when I shove them up your arse".

• Geralt of Rivia : This investigation is getting expensive.

  Raymond Maarloeve : I'm not the Prophet Lebioda. I can't live on roots and berries.

• Roderik de Wett : We know about your illegal gathering with the elf! Open up or you'll hang!

  Yaevinn : [to Triss]  Sorceress, teleport us now! My unit is ready.

  Geralt of Rivia : Are you crazy?

  Triss Merigold : He's right, Geralt. This may be our only chance... Alkh'imbagha, harr'a!

  Declan Leuvaarden : I once saw a mage who emerged from a teleport without his legs. They arrived 5 seconds later...

• Dandelion : How did you get here?

  Geralt of Rivia : By teleport.

  Dandelion : Triss teleported me too. It was amazing. I always wanted to see what it's like.

  Geralt of Rivia : She did that for you? Must be having an off day.

  Dandelion : So why did Triss teleport you here?

  Geralt of Rivia : Let's say she saved me from the kiss of death.

  Dandelion : Interesting, perhaps I'll use it in my new ballad. In any case, what a truly delightful place. Triss said we should stay here until Princess Adda stops dreaming of slitting your throat.

  Geralt of Rivia : I'd have to agree... So, tell me about this place... in prose, if you don't mind.

  Dandelion : It's a charming area, thoroughly magical in its mood. The peasants seem altogether happy, while the peasant women are... mmmmmmmmm...

• Adam : I strive to compose a love poem for my beloved Alina.

  Geralt of Rivia : Ask Dandelion, the poet. Supposedly, he's pretty good.

  Adam : He said love would inspire me. He busies himself performing a diversionary maneuver.

  Geralt of Rivia : A maneuver?

  Adam : He's courting the miller's daughter to make Miss Arlene jealous. Clever, that one.