Jennifer's Body (2009)
Megan Fox: Jennifer
Photos
Quotes
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Needy Lesnicky : You know what? You were never really a good friend. Even when we were little, you used to steal my toys and pour lemonade on my bed.
Jennifer Check : And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.
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Needy Lesnicky : Why do you need him? Huh? You can have anybody that you want, Jennifer. So why Chip? Is it just to tick me off, or is it just because you're just really insecure?
Jennifer Check : I am not insecure, Needy. God... that's a joke. How could I ever be insecure? I was the Snowflake Queen.
Needy Lesnicky : Yeah... two years ago when you were socially relevant.
Jennifer Check : I am still socially relevant.
Needy Lesnicky : And when you didn't need laxatives to stay skinny.
Jennifer Check : [enraged] I am going to eat your soul... and SHIT IT OUT, Lesnicky!
Needy Lesnicky : I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer Check : [smirks] I go both ways.
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Jennifer Check : You're such a player-hater.
Needy Lesnicky : And you're a jerk.
Jennifer Check : Nice insult, Hannah Montana. You got any more harsh digs?
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Colin Gray : They're showing "Rocky Horror" at the Bijou next Friday night.
Jennifer Check : [confusing "Rocky Horror Picture Show" with the "Rocky" movies that Sylvester Stallone makes] I don't like boxing movies.
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Needy Lesnicky : [after Colin asks Jennifer out] Colin's really nice.
Jennifer Check : He listens to maggot rock. He wears nail polish. My dick is bigger than his.
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Jennifer Check : I think the singer wants me.
Needy Lesnicky : Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.
Jennifer Check : Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.
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Jennifer Check : [after Needy stabs Jennifer in her chest] My tit.
Needy Lesnicky : No, your heart.
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Needy Lesnicky : How are you going to get alcohol?
Jennifer Check : I'll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.
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Needy Lesnicky : Are you PMS'ing or something?
Jennifer Check : PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.
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Chip Dove : [Jennifer is levitating in the air, about 20 feet above the pool of water.] She can fly?
Needy Lesnicky : [matter-of-factly] She's just hovering... It's not that impressive.
Jennifer Check : [mad] God, Do you have to undermine everything I do? You are such a player hater!
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[from trailer]
Needy Lesnicky : I will finish you if I have to.
Jennifer Check : Ok, you can barely finish gym class.
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Jennifer Check : You're lime green jello and you can't even admit it to yourself.
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Jennifer Check : I am a god!
Needy Lesnicky : Okay.
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Jennifer Check : I just got Aquamarine on DVD. It's about a girl who's, like, half sushi. She must've had sex with a blowhole or something.
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Jennifer Check : Hey, Monistat.
Needy Lesnicky : What's up, Vagisil?
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Needy Lesnicky : I'm gonna call the cops.
Jennifer Check : Uh, okay... why don't you narc me out? I've got the cops in my back pocket, Needy. I'm fucking a Cadet, remember?
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Jennifer Check : I mean, they did go all "Benihana" on my ass with that knife, and it should've killed me, but for some reason... it didn't.
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Needy Lesnicky : [after killing Chip, Jennifer is back home in her bedroom watching television and doodling on the school yearbook with a red pen; viewers can see that she's actually drawing a circle over a photo of a boy that may be her next intended victim. She turns off her TV and switches off the bedroom light. Needy suddenly bursts through the bedroom window and attacks Jennifer on her bed with a knife. Jennifer catches it and Needy starts grabbing her throat] Best friends FOREVER, huh? You killed my fucking boyfriend! You goddamned monster, you dumb BITCH!
[Jennifer bites Needy on the arm. Needy reveals her knife]
Needy Lesnicky : Ya know what THIS is for? Huh? It's for cutting BOXES!
Jennifer Check : [Needy tries stabbing Jennifer in the face, Jennifer grabs the knife] Do you buy ALL your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, you're butch!
Needy Lesnicky : Cross out Jennifer!
[Needy slices a bloody "X" on Jennifer's stomach with the knife]
Jennifer Check : [Jennifer uses her demonic powers to thrust Needy up in mid air; they both grab on each other and fight. Needy eventually grabs Jennifer and pushes herself on top of her. She yanks and breaks off the BFF necklace on Jennifer. Jennifer stares at Needy and falls back on top of her bed; Needy screams and thrusts the knife in her chest. Jennifer grunts and blood gushes out of chest] My tit...
Needy Lesnicky : No... your heart.
[Jennifer dies]
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Jennifer Check : You give me such a wetty.
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Jennifer Check : [Having been stabbed in the stomach and bleeding profusely] Got a tampon?
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Jennifer Check : Please don't talk to yourself. It's one of your more freakish Needy behaviors and it makes us both look like total gaylords. Fuck, you need a mani bad. You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.
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Jennifer Check : [Pulls down Colin's pants] Nice hardware, Ace.
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Jennifer Check : [Grabs Needy's breasts] These are like smart bombs, you point them in the right direction and shit gets real.
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Nikolai Wolf : [Reading the ritual] We cone here tonight to sacrifice the body of...
[Takes Jennifer's gag out]
Nikolai Wolf : What's your name again, Tiffany?
Jennifer Check : [Sobbing] My name is Jennifer...
Nikolai Wolf : Super.
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Jennifer Check : I am scrumptious!
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Jennifer Check : [Colin got cut by a pair of garden hedges] Oh! A puncture wound. God, that's *so* emo...
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Jennifer Check : [Trying to let the guys from Low Shoulder let her go] Yes. Yes, I'm a virgin. I'm a virgin. I've never even done sex. I don't even know how. So, you guys should find somebody. Who does. Know how.
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Jennifer Check : [Needy and Chip come downstairs from her bedroom] Hey, Chip. It smells like Thai food in here...
[pause]
Jennifer Check : Have you guys been fucking?
Needy Lesnicky : Ugh, you're gross!
[Needy and Jennifer playfully shove each other]
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Jennifer Check : Boo! Cross out Needy!
[Makes a cross in front of Needy with her hands]
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Nikolai Wolf : Let's go to the van.
Jennifer Check : I wanna go to your really cool van. Needy, let's go see his van.
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Jennifer Check : [about to kill Colin] I need you frightened.
[Throws him around some more]
Jennifer Check : I need you hopeless.
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Jennifer Check : [to Needy] Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, your butch!
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Jennifer Check : Where-where are we going?
Nikolai Wolf : You don't have to talk if you don't want to.
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Needy Lesnicky : Hey, that's the band.
Jennifer Check : Mmm. You can totally tell they're from the city.
Roman Duda : Yeah, 'cause they're wearing eyeliner. They look like a bunch of faygos.
Jennifer Check : Well, you wouldn't think that, Roman, because you're a small-time Gomer. I wish we had more guys like that in Devil's Kettle. All stylish and shit.
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Needy Lesnicky : What the FUCK is happening!
Jennifer Check : Whoa, Needy. I never heard you drop the f-bomb before.
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Jennifer Check : Nice hardware, Ace.
