- Mary Cooper: I'm taking our house back from the forces of evil.
- Georgie Cooper: What's evil about Black Sabbath?
- Missy Cooper: You're not helping.
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: What the hell?
- George Cooper Sr.: [he and the kids storm into her house after Mary hides all their stuff] Your daughter's lost her mind and we want to watch TV.
- [they all pile on her couch]
- Mary Cooper: [Missy's watching Ducktales] I think this show is teaching you bad lessons.
- Missy Cooper: That's okay, I'm a slow learner.
- [Dale is promising a a discount in his athletic supply store in exchange for sexual favors]
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: Are you putting a price on on my affections?
- Coach Dale Ballard: Yeah, kinda.
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: You're gonna regret it. I'm really fun.
- [Meemaw chuckles silently as she walks away]
- Mary Cooper: Maybe the problem is just me. I'm not ready to have my baby leave home.
- Connie 'Meemaw' Tucker: No mother ever is.