The Good Place (TV Series)
Help Is Other People (2019)
Kristen Bell: Eleanor Shellstrop
Photos
Quotes
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Eleanor Shellstrop : New plan: Forget the toasts. We do nothing. We hope that our early successes make up for the embarrassing mess we've become. Like Facebook. Or America.
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Brent Norwalk : Man, crazy twist, huh? It's like something out of a Chip Driver novel.
Chidi Anagonye : Leave me alone, Brent.
Brent Norwalk : I'm kind of freaking out over here, man. You're my only real friend.
Chidi Anagonye : No, I'm not your friend. I don't even like you.
Brent Norwalk : But you helped me.
Chidi Anagonye : Yeah, I did, because I have this stupid moral code that forces me to help everyone. But you have never helped anyone, because you don't care about other people. Which is the bare minimum that a person has to do, just care a little about the other people around you, and you can't do it.
Brent Norwalk : What are you trying to say here?
Chidi Anagonye : [slowly and deliberately] You are a bad person.
[cut to Eleanor and the rest of the crew watching from outside]
Eleanor Shellstrop : You can do this.
Michael : Come on, dum-dum. Faster.
[long pause]
Brent Norwalk : No, I'm not.
[gets up and backs away from Chidi, eyes widening]
Brent Norwalk : I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not a bad person. I'm not. I'm a good person!
[glances around the room in desperation]
Brent Norwalk : Oh, man... Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... No, no...
[pause]
Brent Norwalk : Look, Chidi... whatever happens next, I, um... I need to say this to you, all right? I am... I am so, so sor...
[countdown clock reaches zero and the experiment freezes]
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Eleanor Shellstrop : We threw Brent in there because there is no reason any of them should help him because Brent sucks. Brent is the opposite of a box of doughnuts.
Jason Mendoza : Toilet full of broccoli.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Yeah, kinda, Brent is a toilet full of broccoli. But because he sucks so bad, if they do risk their safety to help him, they'll get more points.
Jason Mendoza : Basically it's a Hail Mary. It's risky, but if we complete it, we win the game.
Tahani Al-Jamil : [to Eleanor] That was two good analogies in a row. I'm now worried that he's a demon in a Jason suit.
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Chidi Anagonye : You're not going to the Best Place! Don't you get it? They're torturing you! They're torturing all of us. Because this is the Bad Place.
[camera zooms in on Eleanor and Michael, who cackle maniacally]
Eleanor Shellstrop : Oh, man! I can't believe you figured it out!
Brent Norwalk : Wait... he's right? This is the Bad Place?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Yeah. Damn it, he's right.
Michael : We had a good run, though, didn't we?
Eleanor Shellstrop : Yeah, we did.
[they both laugh]
Brent Norwalk : So no Best Place?
Eleanor Shellstrop : [mockingly] "Oh, so no Best Place?"
Michael : Oh, Brent, you big white oaf! Never change, bud.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Well, I guess we should let 'em know you guys are on your way.
Michael : Yeah.
Brent Norwalk : Wait. On our way where?
Michael : The actual Bad Place. They let us toy with you a little just for kicks, but now you're going...
[points downward]
Michael : And trust me on this: it's a lot worse.
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Michael : Guys, I think we're cooked. It's over.
Eleanor Shellstrop : No, no way. I am not giving up. I told you, I only play games I can win. And I played this game, so that means we can win.
Janet : I don't think that tracks.
Eleanor Shellstrop : Shut up. What do you know?
Janet : Literally everything, but keep going. I am liking this energy from you.
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Eleanor Shellstrop : Brent was the right choice. It's not a tough call whether to save Chidi because he's a brilliant and kind person with a caboose you can bounce a quarter off of, and I know because I've done it.
