- Ted Lasso: Jamie, I think that you might be so sure that you're one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there, you're just one of eleven.
- Ted Lasso: Hey, look at Isaac. He looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats.
- Coach Beard: Boots.
- Ted Lasso: Hmm?
- Coach Beard: They call cleats "boots".
- Ted Lasso: I thought you said the trunk of a car was a "boot".
- Coach Beard: Also a boot.
- Ted Lasso: Hold on, now. If I were to get fired from my job where I'm putting cleats in the trunk of my car...
- Coach Beard: You got the boot from puttin' boots in the boot.
- Ted Lasso: [laughs] I love that.
- Sam Obisanya: [Sam has just missed a block during practice] Coach, I'm sorry.
- Ted Lasso: You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. You know why?
- Sam Obisanya: No.
- Ted Lasso: Got a ten-second memory. Be a goldfish, Sam. Yeah?
- [Sam stares, confused]
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, you got it. Go ahead.
- Ted Lasso: You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? It's a goldfish. It has a 10-second memory. Be a goldfish.
- Ted Lasso: Okay, I got one. What if I joined forces with a swashbuckling cat to play tiny guitars for women of the night as we read Alex Haley's most seminal work.
- Coach Beard: You'd be in cahoots with Puss in Boots playing lutes for prostitutes reading Roots.
- Nathan Shelley: Hey, Nate.
- Nathan Shelley: Who? Me?
- Ted Lasso: Yeah, until we get another Nate here, I just need you to assume you're my default Nate.
- Coach Beard: Boots. They call cleats boots.
- Ted Lasso: I thought you said that the trunk of a car was a boot.
- Coach Beard: Also a boot.
- Ted Lasso: Hold on now, if I were to get fired from my job where I'm putting cleats in the trunk of my car...
- Coach Beard: ...you got the boot from putting boots in the boot.
- Ted Lasso: I love that.
- Ted Lasso: You know what the happiest animal on Earth is? Goldfish. You know why? Got a 10 second memory. Be a goldfih, Sam.
- Ted Lasso: Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn't it? If you're comfortable while you're doing it, you're probably doing it wrong.