- Norm MacDonald: You know what I like about that joke, David? It makes you laugh, but it makes you think. It makes you think you're laughing.
- David Spade: R. Kelly has been denied conjugal visits from his girlfriends. Kelly is worried that by the time he gets out, the girls will be actually old enough to have sex with him.
- [audience laughs and groans]
- David Spade: He's terrified about this. It keeps him up at night.
- David Spade: Ladies and gentlement, we found it, that one time I can say two asians look alike on TV...
- Announcer: [voice over] Racism Loophole!
- Kurt Busch: Did somebody say 'race'?