The Big Bang Theory (TV Series)

The Hamburger Postulate (2007)

Kaley Cuoco: Penny

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penny : So, how's everything?

  Sheldon Cooper : Terrific. You'll be happy to know that I plan to come here every Tuesday night for the foreseeable future.

  Penny : Really? Oh, yay!

  Sheldon Cooper : Who do I speak to about permanently reserving this table?

  Penny : Um, I don't know. A psychiatrist?

• Penny : I didn't know you played the cello.

  Leonard : Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

• Penny : Hey, Sheldon. What's going on?

  Sheldon : I need your opinion on a matter of semiotics.

  Penny : I'm sorry?

  Sheldon : Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols. It's a branch of philosophy related to linguistics.

  Penny : Okay, sweetie, I know you think you're explaining yourself, but you're really not.

• Sheldon Cooper : I like the hamburgers where we usually have hamburgers, you can't make the assumption that I'll like the hamburgers here.

  Leonard Hofstadter : I'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.

  Penny : Uh, which one, the Classic Burger, the Ranch House Burger, the Barbecue Burger or the Kobe burger?

  Sheldon Cooper : Can't we just go to Big Boy? They only have one burger. The Big Boy.

  Penny : The Barbecue Burger is like the Big Boy.

  Sheldon Cooper : Excuse me, in a world that already includes a Big Boy, why would I settle for something like a Big Boy?

  Penny : Because you are not at Big Boy!

  Sheldon Cooper : Fine, I'll have the Barbecue Burger.

• Sheldon Cooper : I don't know what the protocol is here? Do I stay? Do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?

  Penny : Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.

• Leonard Hofstadter : Leslie and I do research together at the university.

  Penny : Oh, wow! A girl scientist.

  Leslie Winkle : Yup, come for the breasts, stay for the brains.

• [first lines] 

  Sheldon Cooper : Alright. I'm moving my infantry division, augmented by a battalion of orcs from Lord of the Rings. We fight the Tennessee Volunteers, and the North once again wins the Battle of Gettysburg.

  Howard Wolowitz : Not so fast. Remember the South still has two infantry divisions, plus Superman and Godzilla.

  Leonard Hofstadter : No, no, no no. Orcs are magic; Superman is vulnerable to magic. Not to mention, you already lost Godzilla to the Illinois Cavalry and Hulk.

  Raj Koothrappali : Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?

  Penny : Hey, you guys ready to order?

  Howard Wolowitz : Hang on, honey. Shiva and Ganesh? The Hindu gods against the entire Union army?

  Leonard Hofstadter : And orcs!

  Penny : I'll be back.

  Raj Koothrappali : Excuse me, Ganesh is the remover of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer. When the smoke clears Abraham Lincoln will be speaking Hindi and drinking mint juleps.

  Penny : Alright, my boss says you have to either order or leave and never come back.

• Sheldon : [learning Leonard has a girl over]  This is very awkward.

  Penny : Oh, come on. You know, Leonard's had girls over before, right?

  Sheldon : Oh, yes. But there's usually planning, courtship, advance notice. You know, last time I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.

  Penny : Wait, wait. You had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?

  Sheldon : I didn't *have* to, the dates just happened to coincide.

• Penny : So, you know who's in there?

  Sheldon Cooper : Well, there's Leonard...

  [picks up violin case] 

  Sheldon Cooper : and he's either with Leslie Winkle or a 1930s gangster.

• Sheldon Cooper : [Sheldon shows Penny the tie hanging from Leonard's doorknob]  What does it mean?

  Penny : Oh come on, you went to college.

  Sheldon Cooper : Yes, but I was eleven.