- Maureen Murphy: You promise that your gonna be a better dad, this year, but your doing this same old stuff!
- Frank Murphy: Oh, I am not! I can't be the goddamn stupid thing, didn't I? My dad didn't show up to parent teacher night.
- Bill Murphy: I wish HE took us tonight.
- Frank Murphy: [stops and looks at him] What did you just say to me?
- Bill Murphy: I wish I said Grandpa Bill took us. He's as nice to us.
- Maureen Murphy: A lot more than you.
- Huey Long: I've heard that empty promise before.
- Kevin Murphy: Huey Long? You're a real person?
- Huey Long: You are a disgrace to the school they named after me. you're an ignoramus, a bumbling lick of thief! And you deserve to jizz you're pants at haircut girls house.
- Kevin Murphy: You saw that?
- Huey Long: Huey Long Sees Everything! You Sir Are A Dildo!
- Kevin Murphy: No!
- Huey Long: Kevin Dildo!
- [claps five times at Kevin]
- Huey Long: Kevin Dildo!
- [still clapping five times]
- Huey Long: Kevin Dildo!
- Kevin Murphy: [screams] Noooooo!
- Kevin Murphy: [Barfs in his locker then coughs] Oh that feels better
- Frank Murphy: Hello, my love!
- [kisses her in the cheek]
- Sue Murphy: How was work?
- Frank Murphy: Worst fucking day of my life.
- [slaps on the table]
- Frank Murphy: Let's Eat!
- Sue Murphy: Frank, there's no time for dinner. We had to get to back to school night to meet the kids teachers. I hope you didn't forget
- Frank Murphy: Ah, I most certainly did!
- [slaps on the table again]
- Frank Murphy: But that's okay.
- Sue Murphy: Well they scheduled both schools for tonight. I hope you take Bill and Maureen and I take Kevin.