- Ricky Stratton: Would you like to come fishing with me sometime?
- Dexter Stuffins: I'm afraid that's impossible. I'm allergic to recreation.
- Grandpa Stratton: I have no idea if she is a fox. I do know she has a pair of the biggest coal mines in the country.
- Ricky Stratton: I know, I know - you're gonna tell me what you always tell me: The world isn't fair.
- Grandpa Stratton: I was going to say that the more you own of the world, the fairer it gets.
- Grandpa Stratton: Richard, I'm afraid I find myself in your father's doghouse. He has instructed me not to darken his door ever again.
- Ricky Stratton: Yeah, well, some things really drive my dad up the wall. Like if you use his aftershave, leave the screen door open, drive off the woman he loves.
- Grandpa Stratton: I see your sympathies are with him.
- Ricky Stratton: You bet your bow tie.
- Ricky Stratton: Everyone's always telling me, "Ah, when you're older, you'll understand." By the time I get old enough to understand, I won't care anymore.
- Ricky Stratton: [after the lights go out] Dad, what's going on here?
- Edward Stratton III: Ah, Rick, the storm has knocked out the electricity. Just stand still, son, and don't try to...
- [crashing sound]
- Edward Stratton III: ... to move.
- Ricky Stratton: I'm okay. I just hit something. I don't know what it was, though.
- Grandpa Stratton: It was me!