- Natella: Keisha, Muslims are not allowed to bet.
- Keisha Marie: No!
- Latrina: Believe it, lady.
- Keisha Marie: Shit.
- Natella: And they don't swear.
- Keisha Marie: Fucking bible!
- Natella: And they don't read the bible.
- Keisha Marie: Motherfucker, that just leaves me with smoky bacon chips.
- Natella: Muslims don't eat pork.
- [Keisha bashes Natella on the head, and keeps eating]
- Latrina: What about the emptiness in your life?
- Keisha Marie: I think I was just hungry.
- Iqbal Kandallah: You has shat your pants. You is scared!
- Roger Bibby: I assure you I am not scared. The fact that I have shat my pants is neither here nor there.
- Parent: I'll write to the Board of Governors about this!
- Iqbal Kandallah: You can try, but me and Mekhmed don't read too good.
- Carol Jackson: This is the 27th time this week you've been in the isolation room. Under the 27-strikes-and-you're-out rule, you're in big trouble.
- Keisha Marie: [At the Miss World pageant, Keisha bashes a fellow contender] Lithuania is not a country, bitch.
- Natella: Where's all the food?
- Lunch Lady: They spent the catering budget on lobsters for the private school over the back there.
- Natella: So, we're gonna starve?
- Lunch Lady: We'll just have to try and feed your for nothing.
- Natella: You've obviously never heard the expression, there's no such thing as a free lunch.
- Lunch Lady: And you've obviously never eaten road kill.
- Natella: Iqbal must have a weakness. A fatal flaw we can exploit.
- Roger Bibby: Well, let's see. Pride...
- Natella: That's good.
- Roger Bibby: ...envy, sloth, gluttony, coveting his neighbour's ox, people smuggling, animal experimentation, animal experimentation videos...
- Natella: Let's concentrate on pride.