Monk (TV Series)
Mr. Monk and His Biggest Fan (2007)
Traylor Howard: Natalie Teeger
Photos
Quotes
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[Monk finds evidence that Marci's neighbor has killed his wife]
Adrian Monk : There's a chance... she's not crazy. I mean, she's crazy, but... she might not be wrong.
[Marci trots toward him ecstatically]
Adrian Monk : [shrinking] Clue hug?
Natalie Teeger : Take it like a man.
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[last lines; Marci has sent her box of memorabilia back to Monk. He finds the troll doll]
Adrian Monk : Oh look, it's you.
[Natalie finds the bobbleheads of Monk and Marci]
Natalie Teeger : [as Marci] "Oh, Adrian, I adore you! You're so amazing!"
Adrian Monk : All right...
Natalie Teeger : [as Monk] "Thank you, Marci. I think you have excellent taste. How would you like to be my new assistant? You can follow me around and worship me all day."
Adrian Monk : All right, it wasn't like that...
Natalie Teeger : [as Marci] "And let's seal the deal with a great big clue hug! Clue hug! Clue hug! Clue hug!"
Adrian Monk : Cut it out, will you? I know it's you.
Natalie Teeger : [following him] "Oh, don't go away, I just want a little clue hug! Clue hug, clue hug, clue hug!"
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Natalie Teeger : Okay, how about this: you give me $600. When anybody bids on you, I'll outbid them.
Adrian Monk : That's a great idea. How do I get my money back?
Natalie Teeger : You don't. It goes to charity.
Adrian Monk : Let's keep thinking.
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Marci Maven : Look, I really have to see Adrian, it's an emergency.
Natalie Teeger : Yeah, that's what you said last year, Marci. But when he got in the car, you locked the door and tried to drive him to Corpus Christi.
Marci Maven : It was Thanksgiving!
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Adrian Monk : [Monk and Natalie are visiting Marci in her home. She serves Monk his favorite bottled water and square cookies] They're square!
Marci Maven : [laughing] I knew you would appreciate that! Yeah, I've been baking all day, and cleaning, I wanted everything to be perfect.
Adrian Monk : [Monk examines his glass] Marci, is this *my* glass?
Marci Maven : Not anymore, you threw it out - remember? And yes, this is your rug, and yes, that is your lamp, and yes, these are your pants.
[Monk and Natalie look at each other suspiciously]
Marci Maven : Don't worry, I'm not crazy, I'm just a fan.
[Seriously]
Marci Maven : You are amazing. But you knew that, didn't you.
Natalie Teeger : His pants?
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[Natalie is trying to convince Monk to take part in a SFPD bachelor auction]
Natalie Teeger : Don't you want to be a team player?
Adrian Monk : No.
Natalie Teeger : Don't you want to appear to be a team player?
Adrian Monk : Sure.
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[Marci is playing with her dolls in a diorama of Monk's cases]
Marci Maven : [as herself] Adrian, should we call the Captain?
[as Monk]
Marci Maven : Not yet, Marci, we need to gather more evidence. Natalie, get the car.
[falsetto]
Marci Maven : On my way, Mr. Monk!
Natalie Teeger : Is that me?
[picks it up]
Natalie Teeger : It's a troll doll.
Marci Maven : Huh.
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Adrian Monk : [reading Marci's letter] "Dear Adrian, I'm sorry I can't have your things in my house anymore. How would I ever explain it to... Fmurry Abraham?"
Natalie Teeger : F. Murray Abraham, the actor.
Adrian Monk : May God have mercy on his soul.
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Marci Maven : [Monk, Natalie, and Marci are walking away after interviewing a lumberyard employee] That is 4 lumberyards down. One to go. How am I doing?
Adrian Monk : Not bad, actually.
Marci Maven : Well, if you ever need an assistant...
Adrian Monk : Well, I have Natalie.
Marci Maven : Maybe it's time for a change.
Adrian Monk : Natalie and I have been together for three and half years. So, I don't...
Marci Maven : I'll work for free!
Adrian Monk : [Monk stops and thinks. Natalie turns toward him] What?
Natalie Teeger : You're considering it?
Adrian Monk : Well... you know... free.
Natalie Teeger : So?
Marci Maven : You want to make a counteroffer?
Natalie Teeger : Yeah, here's my counteroffer: I'm not nuts!
Marci Maven : You're right, you're right, I'm sorry. It's-it's her. I get so flustered.
Natalie Teeger : Mr. Monk, you're not flustered, you're flattered. Who wouldn't be? She adores you, she knows *everything* about you. After all, you're only human.
Marci Maven : There's no need for name calling.
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Natalie Teeger : And the dog was definitely dead when you buried him?
Marci Maven : Yeah, the dog was was definitely dead when I buried him! What do you think? I'm a nut?
Natalie Teeger : Uhhhh...
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Marci Maven : You have the best job in the world!
Natalie Teeger : [muttering] Not today I don't.