- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: And then I realized why I thought about Sesame Street all day. In a way, you can learn everything you have to know from watching it as a kid. Like, always play nice... always try your hardest... and even, it's okay to cry.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: I think I see what the problem is. You have a hand inside of you.
- A.M. Muppet: That explains so many things.
- Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian: Will you stop teasing my beard? Chicks dig the extra fuzz.
- Grover: Tell me about it. And you've only got it in 2% of your body. Hey, what's up, everybody! Can I get a high four?
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: Coming at ya!
- Grover: Near...
- [Todd high-fives Grover so hard he flies across the room and into a wall]
- Grover: ... Far.
- [Faints]
- Dr. Todd Quinlan: Grover five.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Since you're not that intelligent, I'm going to speak like a caveman from now on. You bad doctors. Me good doctor. You follow.
- Dr. Perry Cox: Why do I hate that intern?
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Because he called you Dr. C?
- Dr. Perry Cox: Actually, I find that endearing.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Did he say "back in the day"?
- Dr. Perry Cox: No.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Did he say "back in the hizzay"?
- Dr. Perry Cox: No.
- Nurse Carla Espinosa: Does he like Hugh Jackman?
- Dr. Perry Cox: You suck at this.