- Bret: A kiss is not a contract / But it's very nice / Mmm, very nice / Just because you've been exploring my mouth / Doesn't mean you get to take an expedition further south, no
- Bret, Jemaine: A kiss is not a contract / But it's very nice / It's very, very nice / Just because we've been playing tonsil hockey / Doesn't mean you get to score the goal that's in my Jockey
- Bret: Well, it turns out she's very aggressive.
- Jemaine: Did she hit you?
- Bret: No, she wanted to go all the way.
- Jemaine: Mmm. I thought you already did go all the way.
- Bret: No, now she wants to have sex.
- Jemaine: [chokes on his juice] What gave you that impression?
- Bret: She jumped on top of me and then touched me on the penis.
- Murray: Oh, uh, A.J., um, I was just wondering if you could do us a favor. You know I manage a rock band. What are, uh, what are the chances of me playing a demo of theirs to your brother?
- A.J. Jones: My brother?
- Murray: Yeah. Quincy, you know.
- A.J. Jones: Ohh. My older brother.